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The Short Humour Site









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Story of the Day

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Today's Featured Writer:

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You can readpieces of short, humorous writing
on this site - all for free

Use this search box to pick your subject, writer or keyword:

Read Short Humour bycontributing writers:
Writers' Showcase
We always welcome new contributors: Click Here

Read excerpts from Swan Morrison's books:
A Man of Few Words
A Man of a Few More Words
and
A Man of Yet a Few More Words

Vist Amazon's
Swan Morrison Author Page
or Lulu's
Swan Morrison Author Spotlight
or iTunes/iBooks'
Swan Morrison Page

Random Story

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To apply Google Translate
to this site please
Click Here
(This will provide a simple,
machine translation
of the site into many
different languages)

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and Welcome to the
World of Short Humour

What is Short Humour?

Our Far Eastern, low cost, pirate version of The Oxferd Inglish Ducksionery explains Short Humour as ‘Non-serious writing that is not too long'.

We defined ‘not too long’ as around 500 words, and stories, poems and the like began to be written that could be read in their entirety in less than ninety seconds.

Why is Short Humour needed?
With today's busy lifestyles, there can barely be time to read anything.

Some politicians and academics have even expressed fears that written English might follow cuneiform script and hieroglyphic writing as the preserve of a few specialist academics.

Some of us became equally concerned about the potential effect on humour. Thus was created Short Humour or SH, which can be read quickly at almost any time and almost anywhere - see below.

What is the purpose of The Short Humour Site?
The purpose of this site is to promote the reading and writing of SH both in Britain and throughout the world and to showcase work by writers of the genre.

The site includes excerpts from the seminal books:
A Man of Few Words - The Short Humour of Swan Morrison,
A Man of a Few More Words - More Short Humour by Swan Morrison
and
A Man of Yet a Few More Words - Even More Short Humour by Swan Morrison.
Each is a collection one hundred examples of SH with a connecting theme of life in the modern world.

Will The Short Humour Site showcase Short Humour I have written?
We would love to.

One of our aims is to generate an archive of Short Humour for the benefit of all mankind.

If you would like to contribute to this noble task, please see our Submission Guidelines.

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We have so far published five anthologies of work, each by fifty writers from our Writers' Showcase.

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People of Few Words

Clickable Image
links to free eBook
Cover of 'People of Few Words'

Amazon.co.uk, Amazon.com,
Also as an iBook -
Click Here.
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People of Few Words -
Volume 2
Clickable Image
links to free eBook

Amazon.co.uk, Amazon.com.
Also as an iBook -
Click Here.
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People of Few Words -
Volume 3
Clickable Image
links to free eBook

Amazon.co.uk, Amazon.com.
Also as an iBook -
Click Here.
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People of Few Words -
Volume 4
Clickable Image
links to free eBook

Amazon.co.uk, Amazon.com.
Also as an iBook -
Click Here.
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People of Few Words -
Volume 5
Clickable Image
links to free eBook

Availability as extensive as for other books
in December 2014
Click Here to buy paperback now.

We hope to publish People of Few Words - Volume 6 in 2016.

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Note to current contributors:

All those contributors whose work appears in People of Few Words, People of Few Words - Volume 2, People of Few Words - Volume 3, People of Few Words - Volume 4 and People of Few Words - Volume 5 were involved in the production of the books, so if your work is in any of the books you will already be aware of the fact.

Some writers were not included in these anthologies as we could not contact them by email. If you might like to be included in future projects and have changed your email address, please let us know the new one. Also, please ensure that your junk mail filter does not block emails from us.

If your work appears on our Writers' Showcase page seven or earlier and your work has not been included in any previous volume of People of Few Words and you might like to see it appear in People of Few Words - Volume 6, please email us at: peopleoffewords@short-humour.org.uk now.

We hope to compile and publish People of Few Words - Volume 6 in 2016.

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What is the advantage of Short Humour as compared to other forms of writing?
Many people have become overwhelmed with despondence and guilt about all the reading they have begun and then abandoned by the third page.

There are no such probems with SH which is generally over before the end of the second page.

Also, its brevity allows it to be read in new situations:

When might I read SH?
Opportunities to read SH exist in numerous circumstances such as:

Between stations on the metro.
During lovemaking.
During lovemaking between stations on the metro.
During free-fall skydiving
- Those who have undertaken parachute training will be only too familiar with the mantra ‘Jump - Read Short Humour story - Pull ripcord - Check canopy’.
While driving long, boring, straight stretches of motorway - In the UK, driving while holding a mobile phone has been banned. This has freed drivers’ hands to turn pages.
At any time for members of religious cults expecting the imminent end of the world.
While reading long, serious writing
- Try missing out two pages and reading SH instead.

Why might I buy a Swan Morrison book when all the stories can be read on this site for free?
You might electrocute yourself if you try to read the Site on your laptop in the bath.

As a treasured family heirloom, the book can be passed to future generations.

But Most Importantly: All profits from the writing of Swan Morrison are donated to a UK registered charity supporting people in Africa:

Why don't I just read all the stories on this site for free and then make a donation directly to your charity?
A truly brilliant idea! That way all the money goes to helping people in Africa. If you are a UK tax payer, you can even Gift Aid it!

Click Here to go to the Charity Search Page on The Charities Aid Foundation Website. Then enter Friends of Teso (Uganda).

A Man of Few Words
The Short Humour of Swan Morrison

A Man of Few Words is a collection of one hundred pieces of Short Humour with a connecting theme of life in the modern world.

Enjoy excerpts from the book via the
links below

A Man of Few Words can be purchased as a paperback or eBook at:
Lulu.com

A Man of Few Words is also available in paperback or eBook from major online booksellers including: Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com.

Also as an iBook - Click Here.

All profits from the writing of Swan Morrison are donated to the UK registered charity:
Friends of Teso (Uganda)

Clickable Image
links to free eBook
(picture of the cover of 'A Man of Few Words')

Read excerpts from A Man of Few Words:

1 - Science and Technology

Lost in Cyberspace
- Also published at The Spoof!
The Memory of Water
- Also published at Laughter Loaf
The North Pole
- Also published at Writerspodium
Ermintrude
The Pulse
Vibrations
Subsidence
- Also published at The Spoof!
Living on Borrowed Time
Words
Surfing the Multiverse
Weather
Human Digital Emulation
The Photographer

2 - Road and Rail

Motorway Madness
The Traffic Warden
Speeding
The Mystical Art of Driving
The Driving Instructor Examiner
The Waiting Game
Adopt an Artefact
The Name of the Roads
- Also published by Costa Tropical News
Mobiles

3 - Religion and Belief

Terrology
A Monastic Life
- Also published at The Northville Review
Coldendamp
Reincarnation
Enlightenment
The Circle Game
- Also published at The Short Story Library
- An abridged version of this story is also published at postcardshorts.com
The Afterlife
- Also published at Bewildering Stories
The First Christmas
Tarians
Messiahs
Sunrise
The Spire
You Know Who You Are
Abduction
The Alternative Repair Centre
- Also published by Costa Tropical News

4 - Education and Employment

Higher Education
Clarification
Stress at Work
Many Thanks
Premises, Premises
The Annual Report
Discrimination

5 - Food and Drink

The Sicilian Diet
- Also published by Costa Tropical News
Checkouts
The Semi-vegetarian
The Guarantee
New Kosher
The Helpline

6 - Sociology and Lifestyle

Marriage Guidance
Country Living
Attire
In Your Dreams
Lifestyle Police
Geography
- Also published at Writerspodium
Devolution
Mall Rescue
- Also published in Horizon Magazine
Intelligent Dogs For the Stupid
The Secret Life of Walt Gritty
Equalities
The Language of Thought
Sheep
- Also published by Costa Tropical News
Greetings
The Fashion Icon
The AAO
The Protagonist

7 - Politics and the Law

The Debate
Territories
The Unrepealed
The List
Customs
Responsibility
Anti-profiling
Making a Killing
Bogussing
Covert Squatting
Jam Maker Inn
Shillay
The Floating Voter
SI5
- Also published at The Spoof!
Copyright

8 - Advertising and the Media

Investigative Journalism
Quiddlenitch
Adultery
Spot
Conversational Product Placement

9 - History and Heritage

Listed
Iron Age Brew
Ceremonial Positions
The Open Air Museum
The Expedition
The Ballad of Bodmin Jail

10 - Health and Social Care

The Clinic
Care in the Community
Accent and Emergency
- Also published at The Spoof!
Elevation
IQ
A Most Difficult Case
The Medical Model of Nagging

Read the sequel to A Man of Few Words:
A Man of a Few More Words

Read the third book in the Short Humour trilogy:
A Man of Yet a Few More Words

Read on with:
Further Writing by Swan Morrison

Judgement Day by Swan Morrison

Read Swan Morrison's first novel:
Available at Amazon as a free download (eBook) or paperback:
click here
Also available at iBooks/iTunes as a free download (eBook):
click here
Also available at Lulu.com as a free download (eBook):
click here
or as a paperback:
click here

#SwansJudgementDay - Twitter
#SwansJudgementDay - Facebook

Clickable image below links to free eBook

This is a true story. To preserve confidentiality, however, all the characters, facts and circumstances have been changed.

When a meteorite destroyed a house in a sleepy, English village, no one could have predicted the chain of events that would lead Swan Morrison and Helen Hargreaves to romance and would ultimately propel them into an epic battle for the very survival of mankind.

How can one adequately describe a novel that is (in alphabetical order): an adventure filled; archaeological; comic; crime featuring; dramatic; erotic; espionage laced; horror tinged; political; religious; romantic; science fiction; supernatural thriller with philosophical, satirical and allegorical undertones?

This affectionate tribute to many classic storylines is where the writers of the Archers meet the creators of Indiana Jones meet Dan Brown meet John le Carré meet E. L. James meet Stephen King meet Isaac Asimov meet Barbara Cartland meet Harold Robbins meet Colin Dexter meet Ian Fleming meet Woody Allen meet Douglas Adams – to name just a very few.

Incorporating a diversity of themes and genres exceeding the works of Shakespeare, together with an exploration of the relationship between man and God that is comparable to the great religious texts – all skilfully woven into a breathtakingly complex plot – this ground-breaking, multi-genre masterpiece may yet be judged to be one of the finest works of literature ever written.