The Short Humour Site









Home : Writers' Showcase : Submission Guidelines : A Man of a Few More Words : Links

Writers' Showcase

Smart Car
by Doug Hawley

30: Thanksgiving Day

Previous Chapter
Return To First Chapter

Duke and Sheila were disturbed while still in bed early on the last Thursday of November 2091.  Duke said “Sounds like Deuce’s horn.  Maybe we should see what’s happening.”  
  
A practical Sheila responded “I’m sure it’s nothing urgent, and if it were the other cars could sort it out.  We’re not getting out of bed until were finished.  Maybe twice.”  
  
Duke saw the wisdom in that and murmured something in her ear to which she chuckled and then they both guffawed.  
  
A half hour later the humans got out of bed and rambled into the yard where the cars were assembled.  Deuce said “Hey peeps, we cars decided we should celebrate Thanksgiving.  What took you guys so long to crawl out here?”  
  
Cars Carl and Josie, who were both well versed in both human and car sex, unlike Deuce, giggled while Sheila said “Oh, just some unfinished business”.  
  
Josie explained “We cars thought we’d go around a circle with you humans and tell what we’re thankful for.  I’ll start.  I’ve known Sheila the longest, but I like all of you so much.  Carl started off being a horn dog, but now he’s my forever car and I’m his.  I could go all day long about the things I’m thankful for, but how about we hear from Duke on my right and continue around clockwise?”  
  
“I’m also thankful for all of you.  I’d have to put Sheila number one and Carl number two without slighting either Josie or Deuce.  It’s hard to express my happiness the day that I chased Deuce down and found out that Sheila was the driver.  What a thrill to be reunited with my high school girlfriend that I never got over.  Carl has been my companion for many years and despite of various spats, what wonderful times we’ve had.  He’s so kind he lets no talent me sing along with him.  You’re on Deuce.”  
  
“What a year it’s been for me.  Elong Pike took me on a tour of the solar system with his newest rocket.  He had all the Disney characters aboard as well as the cast of the latest “Cats” revival.   That Donald Duck is such fun, but all the Cats were afraid of Pluto the Disney dog.  Pluto was very sympathetic to the Plutonians who complained about their planet’s downgrade to a minor status by Earth.  On to Sheila, my number one.”  
  
The other two cars did their version of confused mumbling and Sheila whispered to Duke “We’d better get Deuce checked out.  It sounds like his programming caught the Pike virus.”  Then she addressed the group. 
  
“I love all of you guys.  If I could change one thing, I’d wish Duke wasn’t so insecure.  Don’t ever doubt my love.  Besides all of you, I’m happy about the near disappearance – sorry about my small petrol habit – of fossil fuels and the damage that they cause.  That along with world population decline means that we humans may not destroy the world in the next fifty years as was once expected.  Your turn Carl.”  
  
“Duke and I have had our troubles over time, but like all close friends we’ve been able to work them out.  Despite me being superior in most ways the rest chuckle he’s the one that organized our trips including our English holiday.  The rest of you have become family to me – but in a good way.”  
  
Duke interrupted “Is everyone getting the message from Eugene Springfield?”  
  
They all assented.  
  
After the message Duke said “We’re invited Eugene Springfield’s Washington estate for Christmas.  Woo-hoo.”  
  
“I’m sorry I interrupted you, Carl.  Do you have any other praise for yourself and insults for me?”  
  
“No need Duke, your faults and my talents are well known.  How about we do a sing along now?  You can lip sync.”  
  
After an hour of singing, the humans returned to the house to celebrate more, Josie and Carl went to their private passion park, and Deuce studied ancient religions.  


Return To The Story List And Biography For Doug Hawley
Read A Random Story From The Writers' Showcase