Weigh In Day
by Charlie Ross
Well here we are
again its my weekly weigh in day. Ive
been dieting now for about 45 years on and off.
Youd think Id have wasted away by now,
obviously its been more off than on. I
dont know how it works but in that time I
must have lost at least 500lb yet Im bigger
now than Ive ever been. Today I have to
starve until 6 oclock tonight, thats
when I go to my weight watchers meeting. £5.50 a
week I pay the woman to tell me I ate too much.
complain about this leader shes pretty good
really. Ive had some right ones in the past.
Take my last weight watchers leader, she was
dreadful. It wasnt what she said to you if
you gained one week it was the glare she gave you
and she wouldnt accept any of the usual
excuses like Im wearing heavy
clothes or Its that time of the
month ok so it had been that time of the
month for the last 3 weeks but come on I am
paying the woman it wouldnt hurt her to
just nod and agree. If shed had a large
cupboard I think she would have locked me in it.
Im sure she hadnt been overweight she
was about 5ft 10 and 120 lb where as
Im 5ft 2 in shoes and you can almost
double that weight so I suppose I didnt
really feel we were much alike. It wasnt
just me you would see all these large ladies
outside the meeting hall every Thursday night
shaking with fear as they waited for her to weigh
them. Last I heard she became a prison officer I
bet shes great at that, there wont be
any escapes from that prison.
Trouble is I
dont get weighed until 6pm so after that I
can eat anything I like but tomorrow I have to
get back on the diet. It doesnt really give
me enough time I go to bed at about 11 pm 5 hours
just isnt enough Im going to look for
a morning class. Ive bought 3 bars of
chocolate, some real butter, crusty bread and a
pizza with some garlic bread for tonight. I hope
thats enough. I go to weight watchers with
a friend of mine and last week we went back to
her house after for dinner. Shed made a
lasagne with creamy cheese sauce and garlic bread
washed down with red wine and followed by
chocolate cake with baileys and fresh cream and
of course some chocolate mints.. Her husband
asked if he could have some we nearly lynched him.
We dont share on a Thursday night.
I often wonder
just how much weight we gain on that Thursday
night between being weighed and going to bed. I
wonder how much we would have lost without our
binge nights? But would life really be worth
living without them.