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The Story of Dr Bob and the Wild Boys
by Dr Bob

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD AN MP3 OF 'WILDBOYS' LAMENT'
PERFORMED BY DR BOB AND THE WILD BOYS (2.8 MB)

For many years Dr Bob travelled the deep, deep, south of Cheshire with his little dog called Boo, in retrospect, not a very well chosen name for a dog of such a nervous disposition. Keeping to the back roads, he went from town to town selling Dr Bob’s Special Elixir. For the benefit of American readers, Cheshire is the largest county in the England, spanning several times zones and remains to this day largely unexplored. The Elixir was made to a special recipe so secret that Dr Bob himself had to keep a blindfold on every time he made up a new batch. A brief exert from the label will give the reader some idea of the power of this potion: “cures impotence in rabbits, encourages cats to sit by the fire and makes parents invisible to teenagers. Avoid contact with brightly coloured fabrics”.

Upon reaching each new village the doctor would gather together the young ragamuffins, who in exchange for a few coins, would throw bricks through the local windows carrying cordial invitations to a “Special” evening performance. For the benefit of American readers, ragamuffins are poorly dressed children who have roamed the streets of England since Dickensian times, getting in to mischief but at the same time always managing to maintain a cheeky grin. Flaming torches would light the stage as “Fatima the Turkish Slave Girl” did her dance of the twenty four veils. It was based on the dance of the seven veils but she liked to wrap up warm. Once a decent crowd was gather the Doctor himself would take the stage and expound the properties of the Elixir, while Fatima wandered the audience feigning disinterest while vending Elixir to the locals.

It was on one of those evenings, after the crowd had gone but before the police arrived, that good doctor noticed two youngsters sitting on a nearby fence. One of them held a simple hand crafted guitar and the other held a simple hand crafted guitar. “What’s your names boys” asked the Doctor “I’m Woody” said Woody and this here’s Kid Lightnin’” “What do you boys want?” asked the Doctor. “We want to leave our simple backwoods life and join your show” said Woody. “If you can play those boxes of yours like you can sit slack jawed on a fence, you’re hired. It pays 10 a day but you have to provide your own food, bedding and wages. Let’s hear what you can do!” The boys started playing and after just a few minutes a tear formed in the corner of the Doctors kindly old eye, after a few more minutes he was crying, later he went on to do some screaming and before the boys had finished had tried to kill himself in many different ways, some of which were quite ironic.

Needless to say, the boys were taken on. Within a very short time they were closing the show. Unfortunately, they were doing this just after the show started. However, you can’t spell the word success without some of the letters in the word perseverance and it wasn’t long before crowds were shouting down the Doctor and demanding to hear the “Wildboys” that they had heard so much about.

Well that’s the story of Dr Bob and the Wildboys and how they got together and eventually started making that sweet, sweet music you’ll find here. If you like what you hear, tell them; if you don’t there’s still a few bottles of that old Elixir for sale.