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The Human Airplane
by Amit Parmessur

I must ask for permission before writing this novel. Here I am, going to meet the main character. I am speaking to him now.

“Can I write on you?” I asked.

‘On me?’

“I mean, can I write about you?”

‘Sure,’ he said with a smile. ‘Sure, you can write.’

So. Why delay?

He eats so much that he will wilfully give his teeth for a piece of chicken. Rainy running in muscular fields has made him very strong. He is as strong as... as... I... I cannot... I just... I... as strong as? AS? he is @s as! as strong as... a$ as let’s say as... as? As two and a half Hercules. His brother’s brother is mad. (He has only one brother.) His aptly appalling appellation, full of horizontal altitude is JusTravElWithMe. His slogan: “Prepare yourself to pare the wind!”

Why the human airplane? If you want to know, know him, he will simply make you fly with a simple kick. To wherever you want.

Once, at the university I met him. I had spent my bus fare. He sent me home with a semi-kick. Inland travelling. A few days later I met him again. I accidentally laughed at him. He sent me home. I had to come back to the university for I had an important lecture.

Do never ever anger him. Or you fly, like an insect. With a kick to the North Pole. Backheel; South Pole.

Once one of my friends also went to him. “Send me to France,” she requested.

‘Sit on the air in front of me, and say one to three,’ he said.

“One to three,” my friend said. In anticipation.

“No. One, two, three. Say it.”

‘One two three,’ she said and there she went, free from university life. I heard recently she is enjoying life in Marseilles. With JusTravElWithMe’s free business flourishing you will often see university students flying, in their airy seat, saluting you. Someone must be flying right now.

Once, another friend went to him. Her name Sandrina. He kicked her so powerfully that ‘Sand’ went some place and ‘rina’ to some other far away land. As an excuse to this rare mistake JusTravElWithMe would say the girl must have had a split personality.

But now I hear rumours.

Firstly that JusTravElWithMe is planning to charge his passengers. And have highhh poles erected everywhere in the world to facilitate the landing of his customers. Who can simply cling and slide down to destination. I heard people speaking of him introducing bicycle kicks and volleys also.

Second, I heard he is giving up. Supposedly he missed his last passenger and kicked a nearby lamppost. He is down. But, these are only rumours. But what is the joy?

What is the joy? But, what is the joy of making others travel like this when you yourself have to consider airplanes? I told him that. He tried to exile me. I ran away. I had an important lecture.