The Short Humour Site

Home : Writers' Showcase : Submission Guidelines : A Man of a Few More Words : Links

Writers' Showcase

The Customer's Always Right
by Oonah V Joslin

Day turned to dusk.

“Hi Dusk,” it said.

Dusk didn’t answer but turned at once to black.

Black turned into a lighted pub, rolled his eyes around the room, stumbled sightless towards the bar and bumped into it.

“What the hell are you playing at?” asked the bar. “You wanna fight on your hands?”

Black was never one to dodge a fight and so he immediately did a handstand.

“Ready when you are, Bar,” he said.

“How are we supposed to box when you’re standing on us?” asked his hands. “You’re just asking for two black eyes.”

“I could certainly do with them,” said Black.

“Well why did you roll us around the room, then?” his eyes said. “If you want your sight back you’d better apologise.”

Black wasn’t used to apologising. “Okay Eye – am sorry.”

“To both of us…”

“Yes. I realise Eye, I need you – both.”

His sight restored, Black got to his feet. He approached the bar. “I didn’t really mean to bump you,” he said. “I have this ocular condition – an ailment.”

“Right you are - one cask conditioned ale coming up, Sir.”

Because you see, at a good bar the customer is never left.