Hit And Run
by Michael A. Kechula
A van skidded
off the mountain road and crashed into a tree. A
passenger got out and staggered toward the road.
look at that thing coming out of the van,
exclaimed an old timer, as their recreation
vehicle approached the crash site. What the
hell is it?
know. Maybe its one of them aliens from
outer space. Oh dear! A cars coming. Oh no!
The driver squashed it and didnt stop.
for more cars, Frank said, as he raced
toward the victim. Try to stop them.
Im gonna check to see if its still
approached the mess. Hey, it looks like a
giant, powdered, jelly donut. Look at all the
purple goo that came out of it.
Running a finger
through the goo, he sniffed it. This
stuff smells like grape jelly. Yum. It IS
grape jelly. Best I ever tasted. Try some.
I only like blueberry, she said.
Maybe you should check the van to see if
more jelly donuts are inside. One of them might
be filled with blueberry.
the van, Frank said, Theres three
more. Ones powdered. The others are glazed.
Im gonna cut them open to see if any are
filled with blueberry jam.
better check to see if theyre still alive
before you start slicing and dicing.
the things. None responded. Pressing his ear
against each, he didnt hear heartbeats.
Theyre all dead. Damn! These critters
are so tough I cant cut them. Come here and
help me get them out of the van.
removed all the passengers, Frank sniffed the
glazed one. This smells like its
loaded with blueberry jelly. But if I cant
cut it open, how am I gonna get the jelly out so
you can have some?
just put it on the road and wait for the next car
to squish it, Martha said.
They hid in
the bushes and waited. Within minutes, an 18-wheeler
loaded with logs came roaring down the road. It
squashed the glazed thing so hard, blueberry
jelly flew everywhere. Some splattered
she said. This is absolutely delicious.
They did the
same with the remaining two passengers. Soon, the
road was covered with grape, blueberry, cherry,
and strawberry jelly.
shouldnt let all this good stuff go to
waste, Harry said.
him shovel all the tasty goo into their RV.
arrived at the next town, they found a bakery.
The owner tasted a sample of the jelly and
found it so delightful, he bought it all for his
theyd discovered a potentially lucrative
source of income, Harry and Martha decided to
cause more accidents along mountain roads
and to check each of their victims for jelly
two entrepreneurs have several patents for rapid
jelly removal, and highly profitable franchise
operations in 150 countries.