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Estrogen Jammies
by R. Oren Walker, Jr.

For more than a week, my beloved wife had been particularly tense and irritable. Exasperated by this uncomfortable development, I finally queried her about the possible sources for her unrest. Sheepishly, she confessed that she had forgotten to renew the prescription for her estrogen patch, but declared that she would attend to this oversight in a timely fashion.

Suspect, I diligently pursued the matter the very next day and was reassured to find that she had indeed been to the pharmacy and received her refill. However, her objectionable behavior persisted. While I was both curious and perturbed, I was resigned to believe that discretion must be the better part of valor.

Suppressing my concerns, I was resolved to hope that time would eventually grant us some closure and restore the missing elements of our happy marriage. Several more days passed, but there was no discernible change. Undaunted, I stood firm in my convictions and said nothing.

Throughout this ordeal, of course, my wife insisted that nothing was wrong. Eventually, I forgot myself and pressed the issue. Her scathing retort was that: “If there was a problem, I was to blame”. She went on to state that any semblance of dissatisfaction was undoubtedly a consequence of my selfish attitude and protracted neglect. It seemed that I was defeated and destined to endure whatever cruel abuse she saw fit to administer.

That night, as my wife and I made preparations to retire for the evening, I happened to glance in her direction. She was wearing a swank pair of black fleece pajamas. Leaning toward her, I strained to clearly appreciate the logo that appeared, perfectly centered, over the pocket on the rear of her PJ’s. When I was sufficiently close to adequately visualize the details of this two inch circular monogram, I was surprised to find that instead of a stylish label, it was her latest estrogen patch, strategically placed, not on her skin, but outside her jammies.

I could not refrain from casually commenting that she should ask her doctor for a higher dose of estrogen if she expected the medicine to be absorbed through the fabric of this nightwear.