The Short Humour Site

Home : Writers' Showcase : Submission Guidelines : A Man of a Few More Words : Links

Writers' Showcase

Career Choices
by Michael A. Kechula

When a government official visited the orphanage, all the children were lined up for inspection. As the official passed each child, he asked, “What do you want to be someday?”

"A nurse," said a girl, “so I can help sick people.” 

“Marvelous. You’re very kind and thoughtful.”

The next kid said, “Policeman.”

“Wonderful. We’ll always need brave police officers to protect us.”

The official approached Billy. “And what do you want to be someday?” 

“A pizza.”

“How Odd! Why a pizza?”

“Nobody loves me. But everybody loves pizza.”

“He’s a lunatic!” said the official to the orphanage director. “No sense squandering taxpayer money on the likes of him. Abandon him in the forest.”

The director removed Billy’s ORPHAN T-shirt. He gave Billy a new one with larger letters that read, LUNATIC.

Putting Billy on a helicopter, they took him to a dense forest.

Next day, Billy awoke when a fluffy tail tickled his face.

“What’s a lunatic?” asked a chipmunk, pointing to Billy’s T-shirt.

“I think it's somebody who wastes tax payers’ money.”

“What else are you, besides a lunatic?”

“A boy. But I wanna be a pizza.”


“I wanna be loved.”

“What kinda pizza do you wanna be?”


“Well, you came to the right place,” the chipmunk said. “Stand under that magic tree.”

When Billy was under the tree, the chipmunk chanted strange words. In seconds, Billy changed into a freshly baked pepperoni pizza.

The chipmunk whistled to his relatives. As they raced toward him, he shouted, “Look what we have.” 

“Wow!” yelled the relatives.  “Pepperoni Pizza!  Our favorite!”

Between burps, each chipmunk loudly affirmed its undying love for pizza.

I’m finally loved, Billy mused, as a cute girl-chipmunk sank her razor-sharp teeth into the last morsel.