Borrowed Time
by Gargi
Choudhury
A fictitious newspaper report:
‘The mystery surrounding the
passing of a number of innocent cyclists and
pedestrians was solved today with the police
arresting the prime culprit. A month ago, when
the number of road traffic accidents in the area
increased steeply for no apparent reason, the
police undertook a thorough investigation, the
results of which revealed that the accident-prone
spot was perilously close to the residence of one
Pretty Roy. In an exclusive interview with our
correspondent, 22-year-old Pretty (who did not
appear to be in full possession of her faculties),
far from denying the accusations levelled at her,
proudly proclaimed that she was indeed guilty,
and went to the extent of stated that the
following three incidents were major contributing
factors to her bizarre behaviour:
* the recent issuance of her
driving license
* the ever-expanding
population of India, and
* most significantly, a
warning by her doctor that she had only
six months to live
These were the chief reasons that
compelled her to drive her caravan in a manner
that slowly but surely eliminated not just the
cyclists, but also any individuals unfortunate
enough to be ambling along her route. She
vociferously asserted that her work is a great
contribution to society.
After having wiped out half the non-driving
population of South Delhi, where she lives,
Pretty, in spite of her captive state, now plans
to take her caravan on an un-guided tour of the
entire city, and from there on to other parts of
the country where she hopes to repeat her success
in the Capital.
Her family and friends are much
disturbed by her scandalous deeds, but are unable
to take any action even to protect themselves as
she threatens to ‘run them over’, or
worse still, take them along on her hit-and-run
sprees.
Till such time authorities are able
to contain Ms. Roy and her violent lunacy, the
police have issued a notice in the public
interest warning all cyclists and pedestrians to
beware and not venture out as frequently, as they
are wont to do.
The public must also be warned that
the diminutive Pretty, who fervently believes
that she is living on borrowed time, is fearless
and has no qualms in carrying out any or all of
her threats.
All those blatantly flouting these
caveats may do so at their own risk.’
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