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Body Talk
by Alan Pinkett

“You seem to have kept a stiff upper lip as usual, too… Chin up, not batting an eyelid.”

“Kept your head.”

“Head screwed on… “

“Mm… “ replied Boothroyd absent-mindedly.

“You’re looking a bit straight-faced. Not in the mood for a bit of tongue in cheek ribbing?”

“Leg pulling… “

“Sorry, h’I was thinking about the nurse… She was mortified when she messed up a couple of stitches. Having managed to work her way up to become a professional, she takes her job very seriously.”

“That’s you all over… warm-hearted… “

“Heart in the right place… “

“H’empathy, I suppose… “ livening up. “I also started out at the bottom. No lap of luxury for me, no silver spoon in my mouth.”

“But with a lot of elbow grease and by the sweat of your brow, you managed to get tennis elbow!”

“And determined not to bend the knee, with true guts you managed to get housemaid’s knee!”

“You put your best foot forward, showed real backbone and got athlete’s foot!”

“Aye! But it were tough… Specially in’t early years when I were puttin’ me toes in’t watter.”

“You had to keep your nose clean, toe the line, keep your mouth shut.”

“Not poke your nose in, point the finger… “

“Yes, h’I certainly had to keep on my toes… “

“But you knuckled down, shoulder to the wheel.”

“Put your back into it.”

“And legged it for the line h’on my own two feet!”

“Nose to nose, shoulder to shoulder, toe to toe… “

“But ever fleet of foot, you managed to keep them at arm’s length.”

“Still within a nose, though… Breasted the tape by the seat of my pants.”

“A pat on the back to you, sir.“

“Yes, well done… But, er… I’ve lost track of what achievement we’re talking about… “

“My degree, of course!”

“Oh yes, of course… Well done.”

“H’I like to celebrate the peak of my achievements. As you know, it went downhill a bit from there – construction is not the best of professions for the accident-prone. The last thing designers and building sites need is an additional hazard.”

“What you! Shoot yourself in the foot, put your foot in your mouth and kick yourself in the teeth!”

“Yes! I could kick myself!”