Animal Copa do
Mundo
by Amit
Parmessur
Last month the
first Animal World Cup was held in the Amazon
forests. All the rules were adapted from the
human game. There was just one big change –
animals of the same colour only could play in the
same team as due to an inexplicable virus the
silkworms couldn’t deliver the different
teams’ shirts.
Uproar and delight
followed.
The only white and
talented elephant couldn’t play for the
elephants. His ego then refused the advances of
the white dogs. Due to a few black spots the most
prolific rabbit goalscorer could neither play for
the white nor the black. And being a fanatic he
refused to play for any other team, with the
black and white rabbit team pulling out with only
5 registered players.
On the positive
side a strange yellowish lion was signed by the
canaries. Some white rhinos consoled the white
dogs for missing out on the gifted elephant. And
a versatile brown cat found a place among brown
dogs.
The tournament saw
emerging talents, expected surprise and mishaps.
Bulls v/s Tigers was a heated affair. Alike for
rats versus the white cats. A brilliant rat even
lost his tail. The lions proved more frightening
without the ball than with it. The yellow lion
made history though and was hailed as the
canaries’ coach for the next world cup. And
no team wanted to be drawn against the dirty
hedgehogs.
Amidst the
excitement and spirit of blatant unfair play, we
finally reached the final. The elephants against
the industrious black ants. Football fever was
ending but relationships beginning. A cat had
fallen in mutual love with a Doberman. Birds had
discovered the pleasures of remaining on the
ground. Crocodiles met their dwarf brothers, the
lizards. Donkeys revelled in meeting a few
intellectual friends while the hedgehogs
determined to be the paragon of cleanliness after
some peacocks had praised their fighting spirit.
“You’re
the mighty favourites!” exclaimed the TV
reporter before the game to the elephant coach. A
proud ear flapping was confirmation enough. Their
opponents too, the underdogs (or rather underants)
were as serene.
The initial half
saw the elephants playing at will. Fifteen goals
in the first fifteen minutes! Then it was mere
frolicking. “You’ll need much sugar for
the second half,” said the reporter to the
ant coach.
“You
don’t worry,” revealed the defiant
coach. “We’ve the firepower to burn
these fat elephants,”
The centipede
who’d vowed to help the ants only in case of
emergency was introduced, darting during 45
minutes, chased by confused elephants. He managed
to equalise and found enough time to volley in a
winner, à la Cantona.
The centipede was
heralded the Pele of the jungles, the proud
elephant coach duly fired. But everyone wanted to
know where the centipede was when the emergency
arose at the start. “You think it’s
easy to wear so many bloody shoes?” he
revealed exasperatedly to the reporter. “I
never thought I would have to play!”
All queen ants
were smitten and love-struck.
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