Revised UK
Department Of Health Guidance On Alcohol
Consumption Meets With Widespread Anger And
Criticism
Revised UK Department of
Health guidance on alcohol consumption has met
with widespread anger and criticism.
'Government cuts have now
gone too far,' said John Smith, a typical British
drinker. 'First they reduce spending on essential
public services,' he told reporters bitterly, 'then
they slash benefits, now they've cut back the
amount of booze we can all drink without feeling
guilty. It's a scandal!'
The campaign to 'Raise
Alcohol Tolerance by Actively and Regularly
Supporting Excessive Drinking,' led a protest
march through central London this morning. They
handed in a petition at Downing Street demanding
an urgent review of the new guidelines and an
emergency interim moratorium on alcohol limits
pending that review.
'Not only have they totally
removed a safe alcohol limit,' said Stella Foster,
a spokeswoman for the RATARSED campaign, 'but
they've also told us not to drink on at least two
nights each week. What do they expect people to
do on those two nights,' she added angrily, 'sit
around in the pub drinking water with our crisps?
It's just not realistic. The government is living
in a fantasy world.'
The government are said to
be fully behind the new guidance after a clause
was added to exclude from the recommendations any
units of alcohol consumed within the City of
Westminster.
The official Labour Party
position is unclear due to disagreements within
the shadow cabinet. Left wing activists are
already preparing, however, to intimidate those
who oppose Jeremy Corbyn when his view becomes
known. Analysts expect Jeremy Corbyn to oppose
the new guidelines, in part because the Labour
leader looks as if he ought to be standing in a
CAMRA pub sampling a pint and extolling the
virtues of Fuggles Old Peculiar, but also because
of the lead given by current Russian guidance -
the latter being to continue to consume vodka
until consciousness is lost.
The Liberal Democrat
perspective has not yet been clarified, but will
be included in an update to this report as soon
as anyone can remember the name of that bloke who
took over from Nick Clegg.
The drinks industry has
responded by highlighting bias within the new
guidelines. 'The document demonstrates a quite
extraordinary negativity towards alcohol,' said a
spokesman. 'Research we have
commissioned demonstrates clear health benefits
from consuming alcohol in all circumstances in
which harm cannot be definitely proven. Drink
responsibly,' he added, almost inaudibly.
There has been insufficient
time since the guidance was published for many
ordinary people to fully consider the document. 'I
ain't got time to read that,' said a typical
consumer, 'I've gotta meet me mates down the pub
in ten minutes.'
'If it wasn't for drinking,'
added a younger member of the public, 'where
would I meet my friends? We all get together
every Friday night - first at the pub and then at
a club and then down at A and E.
The RATARSED campaign has
advised people not to panic. They have
recommended that, until the current chaos of
official recommendations is resolved, people
should drink at home from a number of
simultaneously open wine boxes. 'People can then
estimate their own consumption as always being at
a low to moderate level,' concluded Stella Foster,
'without having to consider boring, objective
measurements.'
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