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A Man of Yet a Few More Words - by Swan Morrison

Twitter
(Or how Twitter can keep you in touch with what's happening in your community)

Note to non-tweeters:

Twitter is a social networking site which allows people to post online messages, or ‘tweets’, of up to 140 characters: http://twitter.com/about.
The Short Humour Site posts all site updates on Twitter: http://twitter.com/ShortHumourSite.
Twitter users can become ‘followers’ of other members, and are then alerted to updates from those other members.
It is possible for one Twitter user to ‘follow’ a number of other members and see all their tweets. Those members would not necessarily be following each other, however, thus they might have no knowledge of the tweets of some, or all, of the others.

The fictional series of tweets, below, should be read from bottom to top, as that is the chronological order in which Twitter tweets are displayed.
If any of the IDs used below are associated with real people, it is entirely coincidence.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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Smackhead45 I thought I recognised this netbook. It was the one I nicked from that pervert @Suzy'sClient146 and then sold to Mrs Jones at No. 49.
15 seconds ago via web
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Suzy'sClient146 We’re a close knit community, here, @PoliceDetective23. We look after our own.
1 minute ago via web
_________________________________________________________
PoliceDetective23 You bastard, @Suzy'sClient146. Why did you do that?
2 minutes ago via web
_________________________________________________________
Suzy'sClient146 Managed to tip-off Suzy in time, so the place was clear when the Old Bill arrived.
3 minutes ago via web
_________________________________________________________
Smackhead45 This gear's crap. It’s making me hear sirens and see blue, flashing lights.
40 minutes ago via web
_________________________________________________________
PoliceControl Hello, @PoliceDetective23, they’re on their way.
about 1 hour ago via web
_________________________________________________________
PoliceDetective23 Wait a minute, @PoliceControl, better make that a van.
about 1 hour ago via web
_________________________________________________________
MadameSuzy Lots of punters this evening. Lucky I’ve got so many young, attractive, illegal immigrants here who need the work.
about 1 hour ago via web
_________________________________________________________
PoliceDetective23 Send those cars again, @PoliceControl,… please.
about 1 hour ago via web
_________________________________________________________
PoliceControl Well, @PoliceDetective23, you’d better remember the magic word quickly, then.
about 1 hour ago via web
_________________________________________________________
PoliceDetective23 Look, @PoliceControl, those cars are needed now!!
about 1 hour ago via web
_________________________________________________________
PoliceControl And what’s the magic word, @PoliceDetective23?
about 1 hour ago via web
_________________________________________________________
PoliceDetective23 Ahhaaa! Send those cars again, @PoliceControl, to @MadameSuzy's brothel, and don’t let them stop for sodding doughnuts, this time!
about 1 hour ago via web
_________________________________________________________
MadameSuzy Leroy and Fingers turned up earlier and look like they're staying. Seem pretty pleased with their day.
about 1 hour ago via web
_________________________________________________________
PoliceControl They stopped for doughnuts, @PoliceDetective23. God, you sound like the bloody public.
about 2 hours ago via web
_________________________________________________________
PoliceDetective23 Why, @PoliceControl, did the officers take so bloody long to arrive?
about 2 hours ago via web
_________________________________________________________
PoliceControl Hello, @PoliceDetective23, both Leroy and Fingers had gone when the cars got there.
about 2 hours ago via web
_________________________________________________________
Smackhead45 And I got this netbook really cheap from a bloke walking down the road.
about 3 hours ago via web
_________________________________________________________
PoliceDetective23 Hello, @PoliceControl, make that two cars.
about 3 hours ago via web
_________________________________________________________
Smackhead45 Just scored from Leroy.
about 3 hours ago via web
_________________________________________________________
PoliceControl Will do, @PoliceDetective23.
about 3 hours ago via web
_________________________________________________________
PoliceDetective23 Didn’t realise Fingers was out of prison. @PoliceControl, get a car round to 49, Acacia Drive.
about 3 hours ago via web
_________________________________________________________
FingersMcnab Mavis Jones at No. 49 left a window open. Dead easy to get in. I’m on her netbook now. Thought I’d test it before I nicked it!
about 3 hours ago via web
_________________________________________________________
LeroyX Great gear for sale. I’ll be under the lamp post, outside No. 53.
about 4 hours ago via web
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MadameSuzy Bloody Mavis Jones, my next door neighbour, has gone away. At least my clients won't get her prudish, disapproving stares for a while.
about 5 hours ago via web
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FingersMcnab Looks like No. 49’s unoccupied.
about 6 hours ago via web
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MrsJonesOfNo.49 Off on my hols now, and won’t be back for three weeks.
1 day ago via web
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