Spiritual
Aviation
It seems strange, looking
back, that so many of us from religious
communities had taken air travel for granted. Few
of us had given any thought to how aeroplanes
could fly.
It was thus with increasing
unease that we began to learn from religious
journals how powered flight was entirely a
product of science.
Although many of us were
unclear about the doctrines of science, we were
aware that this particular perversion of the
human intellect had led to the heinous lie of
evolution. Indeed, many of us had campaigned to
absent our children from school science lessons
to avoid their young minds being corrupted. Those
of faith were therefore appalled to discover that
their safety at thirty-five thousand feet might
rest on similar such heresies.
Following these
revelations, those of our number prepared to risk
air travel fell dramatically.
In response, airlines
recruited Multi-Faith Spiritual Flight Crew
Teams or MFSFCTs to compliment the technical
flight crews on all aircraft. The well publicised
role of such teams was to undertake appropriate
prayers, rituals and offerings to ensure safe
takeoffs, flights and landings.
I was appointed as leader
of such a team. I am an evangelical Christian,
although, to quell public fears, MFSFCTs were
selected to include all beliefs - including those
of the New Age movement.
Reassured by these
precautions, believers again took to the air.
All went well until funding
issues compelled airlines to make a choice
between employing more spiritual seers or
employing more aircraft maintenance engineers.
Public opinion took a ‘better safe than
sorry’ stance and the airlines bowed to this
pressure in their recruitment of more prophets
and mystical visionaries.
For additional safety,
increased quantities of blue topaz were provided
to New Age healers on all flights. It was hoped
that the action of the gemstone in focusing chi
energy could be utilised to rebalance the yin and
yang of increasingly unpredictable aero engines.
Then, inexplicably, there
occurred an unprecedented number of air crash
disasters. Prayers, rituals and offerings by
MFSFCTs were fervently intensified, but still the
carnage escalated until most aircraft that
managed to falteringly ascend from a runway
subsequently plummeted from the skies.
At this point that I was
asked to lead the newly formed Spiritual Air
Crash Investigation Department.
Spiritual air crash
investigation has significant advantages over the
so-called scientific air crash investigation of
old. In particular, there is no need to
painstakingly reconstruct aircraft wreckage.
Prayer and contemplation from a remote location
provides all the required information.
My department can thus
confirm generic spiritual causes for the virtual
cessation of successful air travel.
As was concluded by our
scientific predecessors, we have found that air
disasters are often not the result of a single
catastrophic event, but result from a combination
of interacting factors. We have concluded that
all disasters since the inception of the MFSFCTs
have been due to God’s accumulated wrath at
aspects of human evil. In particular, the
increasing global acceptance of homosexuality and
the movement of the Anglican Church towards the
ordination of women.
It remains an enigma, of
course, why one airline is still able to fly
world-wide without difficulty. We can only
conclude that the aircraft flown by the Oxford
based carrier DawkinsAir are borne aloft
by the hand of the Devil!
********************************************************************
Suggested further reading
or viewing:
The Official Richard Dawkins Website
The James
Randi Educational Foundation
Skeptic
Magazine
Richard
Wiseman
Derren Brown -
Messiah
Penn and
Teller - Bullshit!
********************************************************************
| 