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The Perfect Citizen
by Bruce Costello

“Normotic Personality Disorder originates in an excessive desire to be normal.”

“Would you mind explaining?” John asks.

“In your case,” Dr Fehler continues, “it manifests in a materialistic approach to life and a preoccupation with purchasing the latest gadgets. It stems from unconscious inadequacy and a need for peer acceptance.”

“Girls say I’m abnormal.”

“On the contrary. Being normotic means being more normal than normal.”

“Is it anything like being robotic?”

“Indeed yes!”

John nods.

Dr Fehler smiles. “Your material focus has gained you complete mastery over inner subjectivity. You are incapable of emotionally driven behaviour. You are the perfect citizen, free from any temptation towards irrational impulsivity.”

John thanks the doctor and departs, still nodding.

Seeing the doctor’s receptionist showing her butt crack as she bends over the bottom drawer of a filing cabinet, John reaches for his new solar-powered pocket cattle prod.