The Matchless
Matchmakers of Yore
by Vijai Pant
Those were pre-internet
days. There were neither matrimonial sites nor
matchmaking agencies and people, by and large,
had yet to put their trust on the matrimonial
section of dailies. Arranged and in-caste
marriages were the norm and it was a huge task
for parents to find a suitable match for their
grown up children, despite abundant suggestions
from relatives- both solicited as well as
unsolicited.
In such a
scenario in walked the matchmaker- usually an
elderly lady, a ‘good’ acquaintance of
yours, and of the same socio-economic background.
She had a formidable reputation in the field of
community specific matches, thanks to her being
so long in the game of matchmaking.
Ever
perceptive, she possessed a sharp eye for
marriageable boys and girls every time she
socialized. Weddings, with their huge
congregation, were always ‘inviting’
for her. She would go there with the clear
purpose of working towards fixing yet another
marriage and, thus adding to her rather envious
matchmaking profile. As for honouring an invite
or fulfilling a social commitment, that would be
the last thing in her mind.
Her talks
revolved around marriages and the difficulties
encountered by parents in getting their children
‘settled’ in life. This glib talker
would even make a complete stranger
unsuspectingly part with all information about
his/her family and children. If the inputs
furnished would be of interest to her, she
followed it up with a few more indirect queries,
before coming to the clincher- “Your
marriage plans for your young one/s?” All
this while, her memory would be on an overdrive,
registering facts. Thereafter, it was the
listener’s degree of involvement which would
decide her next move- whether to leave it at that
or to declare that she could be of help in
finding the right match.
After getting
the go ahead, if required, her first step would
be to verify the information given to her. She
never relied on hearsay, but always dug deep till
satisfied with the veracity of facts.
Next, she
would bring the boy’s and girl’s
families on a common platform- her matchmaking
platform. A flurry of activities then followed
like asking for horoscopes, exchange of
photographs, prior meeting between elders and
finally the ‘boy sees girl’ moment. And
you better not think that her role now ended
because she would be the channel of communication
for any uncomfortable questions by both the
parties.
Her single
minded zeal in ensuring that her endeavours come
to fruition, and mind you with no axe to grind,
would further enhance her image as a successful
matchmaker.
On the wedding
day you would not need a discerning eye to spot
her amongst the hordes of relatives around the mandap.
Dressed for the occasion like everybody else she
would strut around with an air of self-importance,
well aware of her ever growing popularity in the
‘matrimonial circles’. Despite her
apparent busyness, her fierce passion to have the
young married off would make her mingle with the
crowd, talk to parents and close relatives of
eligible bachelors and hopeful singles with her
mind again storing the required information to be
shared later with the concerned families.
You might as
well call it the beginnings of yet another ‘And
they lived happily ever after’ story.
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