The Fairground
Operator
by Stephen Philip Druce
I had the
misfortune to share a fairground ride with a
surgeon and his patient.
As we spun
around on the ride the surgeon had the audacity
to perform a sex change operation.
I said to the
surgeon - "sir, are you sure this is the
most appropriate environment for you to be making
a primary incission into your patient's perineum?.
I admire your medical expertise and practical
dexterity, but isn't it a little conspicuous and
out of context in a fun park?. Surely clamping
and ligating the right spermatic cord ia a
violation that contravenes fairground policy
regarding operations of this nature. The
continued incission up the ventral side of the
shaft is misplaced and somewhat tasteless in my
opinion. I had no prior warning i would be
subjected to this graphic sausage dicotomy: the
vision of developing genital skin to the anterior
flap. Your dissection of the uretha from the
shaft is an imposition upon my squeamish
disposition, and though this encounter may be
transitory, I have no desire to witness any
anatomical seperation that will assure a fleshy
stump. I wholly disapprove of your perennial
dissection as i've always been a firm believer
that fairground rides and sex change operations
cannot co-exist aesthetically or morally. Your
perforation of the anterior flap - that is
implemented to position the urethal meatus
undermines the innocent frivolity spectacle the
fairground industry endeavours to convey.
Suturing the skin flaps and placing them in the
new position may be a medical phenomenon, but I
am not enamoured by them ugly demonstrative
method you have utilised within the public arena
here today. In light of this I feel I must
contact the necessary authorities and sue you for
medical negligence".
The surgeon
said - "you're just prejudice against
surgeons that chop dicks off on fairground rides".
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