The Devil Went
to Georgia, Redux
by Rossario Luis
Back in 1979,
as the song informs us, the Devil went down to
Georgia looking for a soul. Its quota on new
souls was below the required level. One has to
consider who made this quota. But that’s a
question to be answered at another time. Now I’m
referring to the song about a fiddle player named
Johnny.
Johnny, self-proclaimed and as well by others,
was the best fiddle player in the universe. And
on one fateful day happened to meet up with the
Devil. The Devil noting the hubris by which this
Johnny fellow proclaimed he was the best, figured,
“yep I got me one” and made a bet. We
all know the bet, a contest between the two where
the looser would forfeit something of value. If
Johnny lost, he would forfeit his soul and if the
Devil lost, it would forfeit its solid gold
fiddle.
Now this was no ordinary gold fiddle. It weighed
an approximate 22kilos. Only a human being with a
strong physical constitution could play it and
yes Johnny was big in body as he was big in pride.
He took the bet. Remember folks, you can’t
renege on a bet with the Devil or the Mafia,
written or verbal.
The song-story continues on to inform us that yes
Johnny did beat the Devil and won the solid gold
violin or fiddle as it’s called in some
parts. And oh how he bragged and berated the
Devil to another contest any time of his choosing.
The Devil left that scene. Where he went I am not
at liberty to say, mostly because I don’t
know. What I do know is the Devil is true to its
word when it comes to a bet, yet because of the
prideful manner in which the bet was consummated,
ungentlemanly to state in the least, the Devil
wondered in what manner it might get even.
Johnny, as he was wont to do, bragged up and down
Georgia and other locales denigrating the Devil
while promoting his universal skill as a fiddle
player. The results of the contest were displayed
and played in order to cement that fact. Johnny
traveled a bit and was hardly ever home. Hell, he
was never home. He had invitations from churches
and fans to play for them all over the planet.
And Johnny was a one man organization, no manager,
no bookkeeper, no anybody else.
So one day while he is getting ready to open in
some venue, he’s approached by two very well
dressed men in dark suits. They introduce
themselves from the government and hand him a
letter.
Johnny says, “I’ll read it later. I’m
getting ready to put on a show.”
“No”, they both state in unison, “you
will read it now and comply.”
Johnny understands that maybe he should and opens
it. What he reads turns his face pale white. He
feels dizzy. He looks up at both of them and
shouts, “What the hell do you mean I owe the
government money? I owe you nothing for my win
with the Devil. It’s none of your business.”
“Sorry Johnny but all winnings and prizes
are taxed including if there is a monetary value.
Your pure gold violin weighs 22 kilograms. The
value on the instrument, is
$550.00 USD an ounce comes to $426,838.50 plus
interest. You were sent a 1099 Winnings Form
three times and you never responded. Pay your
bill now or we’ll confiscate the violin. You
have 15 minutes to come up with the money. A
check made out to the Treasury Of The United
States will be fine as will cash. But in the
order of full disclosure, then we’ll have
other questions for you regarding the origin of
that cash.
The violin was forfeit and auctioned off some
time later. The winner remained anonymous. The
agent for the winner paid with a wire transfer
paying all the required fees. She got into the
drivers seat and drove off in a black and gold
blacked out Rolls Royce. Some people stated a
deep voice could be heard laughing as it drove
off and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Some
even claimed there was a smell of sulfur along
with other noxious fumes.
And Johnny? We never heard from him again. We do
know one thing though, the value of a soul can
now be computed by actuaries and by the IRS. The
soul is the exact weight of a solid gold violin
which according to Wiki would be 22 kilograms.
The value is based upon the rate of one ounce of
24 caret gold at the current price.
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