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Pickup Line Put Down
by Tom Schmidt

Amber Jackson was a striking 25-year-old blonde living in the Greenwich Village area of New York City.  Over the years, she had learned that her attractive appearance made her the natural target of numerous men who often tried to connect with her using some of the worst pick lines imaginable.  While these men were generally harmless, their presence was often an embarrassment for Amber as well as an annoyance.  As a result, the young woman started to go out more and more with a group of her female work friends in hopes that their presence would ward off the unwanted suitors.  This generally worked but it was not always fool proof, as a recent Saturday evening proved.

The “Common Ground” bar on Gansevoort Street was pack on Saturday night.  Drinks were being served at a brisk rate and the dance floor was buzzing with activity when Amber and her friends arrived.  And within a few minutes, a young twenty-something male was eyeing the attractive blonde, looking for an opportunity to make his move.

“I value my breath, so it would be nice if you didn’t take it away every time you walk by!!”

“Huh??”  Amber missed the come-on from the young man and just looked perplexed.

“You know, there is something wrong with my phone.  It doesn’t have your number on it…”

Amber smirked and tried to move away, uninterested in the childish game the man was playing.  But the man surprised her by extending his hand.

“Hi, I’m Mr. Right.  Someone said you were looking for me.”

But before Amber could reply, the man used his worst line of the night.

“Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living.”

Amber now had her chance to rid herself of this dolt.  Smiling, she gave a short reply that put an end to the entire charade:  

“Well, actually, I’m a female impersonator.”

And with that, she walked back to her friends….