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Going Down Under
by Stephen Philip Druce

I arrived at the airport and discovered my plane was upside down on the runway.

"What's our plane doing upside down?" I asked the man behind the airport reception desk.

"It's not doing anything sir" he said, "in fact the verb 'doing' is not applicable to this beleaguered flying machine. I would not use the word 'doing' to describe this inert, belly-up, non-assest to the commercial aviation industry at all. It's inability to perform its intended function - due to its unorthodox placement upon the tarmac, renders it redundant for the foreseeable future, so 'doing' is not on the agenda. 'Doing' implies a form of activity, a purposeful act, an action, a deed, and I'm afraid this once marvel of modern engineering has seemingly capitulated - strongly indicated by its current position. I would therefore anticipate a non-doing display and an imminent extensive delay - nullifying the expectations of all the passengers who will now have to re-schedule their plans accordingly. This figures strongly in the slim to zero odds I can offer you of ever travelling on this plane".

"But why is the plane upside down?" I said.

"Don't ask me" he said, "I'm just the airport cleaner".