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Amazon Employee To Be
Or
maybe not while in phone loop hell

by Rick Tornello

“All agents are assisting other candidates,we will be with you  ASAP, All agents are assisting other candidates, we will be with you ASAP,All agents are assisting other candidates, we will be with you ASAP,All agents are assisting other candidates, we will be with you ASAP………..”
 
 
That’s where I am in right now
While I fill out the form
No resume required
Drug test yes  pass, but of course!
Two weeks later this email
Instructed:
Fill this out then sign electronically so simple so clean, but there’s a catch.
“All agents are assisting other candidates,we will be with you  ASAP, All agents are assisting other candidates, we will be with you ASAP,All agents are assisting other candidates, we will be with you ASAP,All agents are assisting other candidates, we will be with you ASAP………..”
 
BUT what ho what have we here?
 
As I read the small print the recorded voice continues unabated:
“All agents are assisting other candidates,we will be with you  ASAP, All agents are assisting other candidates, we will be with you ASAP,All agents are assisting other candidates, we will be with you ASAP,All agents are assisting other candidates, we will be with you ASAP………..”
 
Reading the pre-employment agreement
If you do anything, say or write anything
Work for a competitor
You’re up the creek,
Or in court or whatever.
Just like Disney and Harley Davidson,
Don’t piss the giants off!
“All agents are assisting other candidates,we will be with you  ASAP, All agents are assisting other candidates, we will be with you ASAP,All agents are assisting other candidates, we will be with you ASAP,All agents are assisting other candidates, we will be with you ASAP………..”
 
So,
I emailed to the indicated spot
to go over the agreement and get help.
1st level couldn’t help, of course not, it's not in their script.
Passed me on to 2nd level, same as before just whole lot more.
Couldn’t help sent me to yet another up the chain
And was put on hold, because he was not allowed to put a person on hold for a few minutes
 
5 minutes or more  later?
“All agents are assisting other candidates,we will be with you  ASAP, All agents are assisting other candidates, we will be with you ASAP,All agents are assisting other candidates, we will be with you ASAP,All agents are assisting other candidates, we will be with you ASAP,All agents …
 
I guess the machine is the first level of Phone-loop hell.
Where's Dante?
 
And there I sat and all the while, wrote this story poem, which if I signed the agreement, I would be in violation and they would own this too!!. How nice. How prime!
 
Yep!
“All agents are assisting other candidates,we will be with you  ASAP, All agents are assisting other candidates, we will be with you ASAP,All agents are assisting other candidates, we will be with you ASAP,All agents are assisting other candidates, we will be with you ASAP………..”
 
Control-alt-delete, exit,
“All agents are assisting other candidates,we will be with you  ASAP, All agents are assisting other candidates, we will be with you ASAP,All agents are assisting other candidates, we will be with you ASAP,All agents are assisting other candidates, we will be with you ASAP………..”

NO END



By RdotTornello & The Village idiot Press
11/3 through the 8th/2018