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Trials and Tribulations of the Celtic Tiger Cubs
by Lily Murphy

The recession here in Ireland has hit old college buddies of mine. One day I met up with one who lamented that before the economic crash he used to wear a clean pair of socks every day. Now he has to get two days wear out of one pair. Times are tough I understand, but I dared not enquire his underpants situation!

That is just one sad tale to come out of the recession and even though we are some years into it, we are not inclined to crawl out of it. I think we secretly adore the misery all around us. Now let me elaborate more on that thought.

We Irish are a strange bunch who love to wallow in woe. We prefer to loose battles rather then win them. We praise the dead instead of the living. We love a sad ballad and delight in desolation. Sure look at an Irish wedding, it occurs on only one day while an Irish funeral is a three day event!

The recession is a great excuse to be more forlorn than what we previously were. It serves as a great source of sombre stories and here is another tale to tell you.

I came across another old college buddie who was looking drab.

‘I’ve just been to the doctor,’ she informed me.

‘He asked me had I quit drinking and I told him that I had to because of the recession and he laughed at me. He then told me I had developed Methyphobia, a phobia developed since the price of booze went up!’

I felt sorry for my old buddie who once had a great lip for the drink.

Let me tell you another tale that an old buddie recalled to me.

‘A burglar came into the house the other night’ he informed me. ‘He came in the front door, through the living room, right out the back door and left with less than what he actually came in with!’

So it is a wretched state of affairs when a man can’t wear clean socks everyday. When a heavy drinker turns into a dry pioneer due to the price of alcohol and when a burglar can’t even rob a house without getting robbed himself!

Yes, we are in a miserable state of affairs indeed, but don’t we just love it!