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These Epithetical Churls
by Joanna M. Weston

To the Dear Maggot-Pie
who spilled coffee
on my arm
the blind-worm who sprayed
gas over my car’s wheels

you wart-necked pignut with radio
turned to 200 decibels
on the beach
you clapper-clawed ratsbane
whose car alarm went off at 2 a.m.

the beef-witted rampallion who cut me off
at the left turn lane
then backed into the parking
space as I was pulling in

all you festering hedge-pigs
gorbellied flap-mouthed
joitheaded toad butts
may you puke mangled poxy worms
Yours truly Haggard Varlot