The Short Humour Site

Home : Writers' Showcase : Submission Guidelines : A Man of a Few More Words : Links

Writers' Showcase

The Police Dispatcher has the Last Word
by Niles Reddick

Since I retired, I had noticed things in the neighborhood and was compelled to take action. I didn’t want to be one of those poor citizens who complained to others without at least trying to do something to make things better. I’d called the Post Office because the part time postal worker left mailbox doors hanging open and the rain had wet most of the neighborhood’s mail. I’d called the electric company because a live wire had electrocuted a couple of squirrels, not that I was overly concerned about squirrels, but someone’s pet might get electrocuted. I’d also called the police about a neighbor at the end of the street who should’ve been brought up on charges of animal cruelty. The fellow worked at one of the manufacturing plants and all freezing winter, whether rain or snow, the dog was left outside, seemed to be tied to or wrapped around a tree, and didn’t seem to move at all. In fact, I’d glanced through one section of fence because a couple of boards were missing multiple times when I drove or walked by or with my binoculars from the porch. I’m not a huge animal lover, like being into rescue or anything, but I felt if somebody had a pet, then the least a damned owner could do was treat them right.

The police dispatcher called me back during lunch the next day: “The chief wanted me to share that they had checked on the alleged animal abuse, but it turns out the dog is a painted concrete dog in your neighbor’s backyard.”