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The Onion: Overrated, yes... But Still a Damn Fine Line in Fortune Telling!
by Wallace Runnymede

It goes without saying, but The Onion is nothing special compared to other top-tier satire outlets like, say, Glossy News or the National Report. 

Well yeah… like so many things that go without saying, it really does have to be said! The Onion is certainly a top-tier satire outlet, however defined, but it’s not like their work is noticeably better than that of their peers and equals. …

Bitter? No, of course, I am am not biased at all :P 

Hell, in all seriousness (or rather, in all po-facedness; the terms are hardly synonymous), it’s not like I disdained to mention the National Report; which latter I have never written for! So I’m clearly at least as fair and impartial as the Fox/MSNBC apologetical-industrial complex ;) Still, credit where credit’s due. I found some links discussing times where The Onion actually got it right… I haven’t fact-checked these, but then again, it’s satire… 

There. Can’t say I’m not a purely disinterested writer, aye? On the other hand, if you are a member of the ‘disinterested is LITERALLY the same thing as uninterested, DUDESICKLE!!!’ school of semantic atrocities, please stop reading now! … 

Uh, you might want to take my advice in future. 

Still reading, arncha? Hm. There’s no curing some folks.

Fortunately, however, us folks who write satire are better than that. Hell, even those folks at The Onion are as well! Can’t say I’m petty, mean-spirited or partisanly dismissive, can ya? Maybe ‘uninterested’ in the opinions of the ‘disinterest’ lobby, at a push.

Hey, I bet you guys never have ‘problems.’ You probably claim you have issues, do you? 

There are two kinds of people in life: issue-havers and problem-havers. You can’t be both. Think about it.

Hell, another semantic atrocity. Better stop here. I mean there’s just no bottom, is there? :P

Originally published on