by Doug Hawley
got a lot to cover today, and a lot of it is
seriously troubling. Joe, tell us about the
two attempted escapes.
Pat went over the fence in the exercise
yard. I dont understand how somebody
that big could climb it. Pat returned a
couple of days later. Wanted back, it was
hard on the outside, but were getting some
push back on security from the public. All
the guards have been warned that they should do
better if they want to keep their jobs.
George found an unlocked gate and went back to
his family, but they didnt want him and
ratted him out, so hes been returned.
I know we need to do better Warden.
Warden Weve had trouble with food too.
Mary, any ideas?
Yeah the problems are intense. Food
fights, which waste food and already cut into my
slim budget. Hunger strikes. Nothing
but trouble. Heres something Im
going to try. Eat your vegetables
which are relatively cheap or you dont
eat. I remember it worked in my family.
Clean your plate- get a dessert. Anyone who
refuses to eat gets sent to solitary until ready
to change. I know this is strict, but you
have to be strict to deal with these people.
If they were fit for society they wouldnt
Do we have any good news? What do you
I started the sports program to work off
energy so they would stay out of trouble.
Big Gil won the arm wrestling tournament.
Softball is going well, the guys are enjoying it.
Only problem is tracking down homers from some of
these long ball hitters. I swear some of
these guys could be professionals. Those
that dont play enjoy watching. We had
to cancel football, too many injuries.
Glad to hear some good news. Ill
give Gil a trophy. Anything else? Jim?
Warden you may want to rethink that trophy.
Gil and Sam Jordan have been sneaking off for
illicit sex. If that gets out, wed be
in deep stuff.
OK Jim, maybe theres something we can
put in their food to diminish those desires.
Mary, check it out. Got to say, I
understand Sam Big Gil is one fine woman.
If it didnt betray my position - better
leave it at that.
Ill look into possible food additives
for dampening libido.
I think that covers it all, but remember we
can talk like this in private, but to the outside
world, Im Director, not Warden, and there
are no guards, just hosts. Families can
send their elderly to other places than Sunset
City Retirement Home, so be very careful how we
deal with the public.