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Smart Phones
by Annie Jones

Smartphones are the key to prosperity!

So says Jed Millivander, politician. Because smartphone use requires an understanding of digital function, a computer savviness if you like, people and their tech-skills are the 'hook' to the modern Western world's progress. Mr Millivander recently went on a fact-finding tour of London and European shopping centres where he sought to find out people's knowledge and progress as a result of technological advances. Many vox-popped passers-by confirmed their smartphone use as a means to sharing shopping experiences with their friends and twittering their friends about their moisturizing schedule:

One person happily volunteered their typical tweets: 'OMG! Am so over Harvey Nicks SpringSouffle, like I've totally switched from their Summer Skin Range, to, like, H&M affordable PEAU - PAMPER. But, it's like , you kinda need to get French to comprehend their Brand - Inspiration. It's lIke, not too random, plus, I getFrench, cos, like, I studied it at 'O' Level and like, I know it's summat to do with skin, plus there's a picture of a girl touching her skin?'

Another member of the public, when asked, confirmed that, without their smartphone, they would not know what the celebrities are up to, at a finger- tip: 'I know more about The Beckhams thanks to my smartphone and even though it takes five minutes of ads to access the item, that's of interest to me, I don't mind.'

INTERVIEWER: It doesn't bother you that you can't access information without five minutes of advertising beforehand?

MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC: Well no, not really, 'cos it keeps me in touch.

INTERVIEWER: In touch with what, exactly?

MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC: Well, with products and games and stuff.

INTERVIEWER: Do you ever skip the ads?

MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC: Well, yeah, but then, I need summat to talk about to me friends.

INTERVIEWER: What would be a typical Saturday night conversation, between you and yourmates, then, if I can ask?

MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC: Aaw, maybe summat lik: Ya see that ad for Armani Uomo, that's class, that is, that Messi, he wears that, he does.

INTERVIEWER: Does the smartphone afford you access to more obscure material?

MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC: What ya mean, like, borin' stuff?