Smart Car
by Doug Hawley
21: Heroes Day
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Sheila, Duke and their cars
Carl/a, Josie and Deuce gathered outdoors in the
yard of their house in Lake Grove, Oregon to
celebrate Heroes Day 2091, the descendant of and
President’s Day.
An atypically happy Duke
noted “What a fine day for the first Monday
in February.”
Sheila smiled and responded
“Cold but sunny. Will you read
the bio of this year’s designated hero?”
Duke’s car Carl/a and
Sheila’s car Josie weren’t interested
and so drove off for some alone together time. Deuce
didn’t have anything else to do, so he
stayed to hear the story.
“OK, this year’s
hero is unlike the others. Of course,
most US presidents have been disqualified by
being slave holders or some other unacceptable
behavior. Stephanie A. Clifford,
professionally known as Stormy Daniels is the
first former president to be honored in many
years. There have only been one or two
others since Heroes Day became a holiday
celebrated on the first Monday in February. We
had the doctor Jenkins who found a genetic way to
prevent most cancers and the billionaire Eugene
Springfield who perfected the Mind Phone ™,
but politicians aren’t that big a deal
anymore. A car, a 2078 Ford named Fred,
won in 2080 when it detected a crack in a bridge
that humans hadn’t noticed and blocked
traffic from crossing before the bridge’s
collapse. What do you think of that,
Deuce?”
“Makes me proud to be
a vehicular American.”
“Sorry, I got way off
track there, but I studied Heroes Day and like to
show off my knowledge. Stormy Daniels
was born in 1979 and worked in pornographic films. Most
of the USA became aware of her when she exposed
Donald Trump as someone who paid for sex with her
when he was married. After that
scandal which hurt Trump’s reputation, but
not hers, she went back to her trade, but was
back in the news when her lawyer was accused of
stealing from her. At the end of her
acting career, she transitioned into producing
and directing her movies. She followed
that with acting, directing and producing
mainstream films. Outside of cinema,
she became a social gadfly arguing for equal
rights, particularly for sex workers. Her
social conscience extended to bankrolling a
company to provide clean power. Her
popularity led to millions following her podcasts
and columns syndicated in leading newspapers.”
“When Trump Jr.
decided to run for president in 2040 she knew
that she had to run against him. The
electorate had never been as polarized. Voters
went with who they hated the least. The
Trump hatred turned out the be the larger of the
two. She easily got a second term in
2044.”
“She is the third most
popular president of this century so far. Under
her leadership the bias against sex workers
decreased significantly. Trading
massive military cuts and the elimination of
overlapping welfare programs for a universal
basic income made a lot of people happy while
simplifying government. Eighty percent
of the country approved of her family planning
for all. She sold congress on a one-page
income tax form, making the whole country, except
accountants, pleased.”
“She died in 2073 and
was grieved by millions.”
“What do you think of
her Deuce?”
“Her energy program
allowed me to receive nonpolluting alternate
energy which is both convenient and inexpensive
instead of my gas engine, so I’m a big fan.”
Carl and Josie returned in
time to see the holiday light show and to join
Deuce to entertain the humans with rock hits from
the last century starting with a Steppenwolf
medley - Born To Be Wild / Magic Carpet Ride /
Rock Me / Berry Rides Again. All the
cars in the neighborhood joined in, but the
humans knew better than to compete with the cars.
Appears
in Maysam January 2021
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