The Short Humour Site









Home : Writers' Showcase : Submission Guidelines : A Man of a Few More Words : Links

Writers' Showcase

Smart Car
by Doug Hawley

8: Auto Bio

Previous Chapter
Return To First Chapter

Duke and Carl/a agreed that it is time that you should hear Sheila’s story – that’s me. Quite a bit of my tale came out in smart car 7, so I’ll mostly write about other things.

One of the things that I didn’t talk about too much in my interview with Carl/a is my relationship with Duke. I think that we could be in love, but I don’t want to rush into anything. I’m still seeing a Lake Oswego city counselor, but I’ve never leveled with him about my secret identity as Rogue. Another awkward aspect of our relationship is that he’s never been physical with me. I’m not judging, but it makes me wonder if he’s hiding something from me and maybe even from himself. My understanding is that Duke still has a rather kinky relationship with someone called Jane. I don’t know if he’s interested in her, or just their games. If he’s addicted to kink, we may not work out, but I’m hopeful.

One thing that we’ve both noticed is that we have grown into much better adults than we were teens in high school. Duke went from nerd to stud, and is a top mathematical consultant. I was not quite anorexic in high school, but I was much too thin from trying to attain some impossible ideal. I’m both healthier, and if I’m to believe my men friends, much more attractive now that I’ve got curves. In an odd twist, my part time government transportation job has aided the smart car innovations that have cut automotive accidents to near zero.

Duke’s one facet that I would really like to change about him is his lack of reading. Ironically with all of the writing that he has done under his penname, Doug Hawley, he doesn’t read anything besides newspapers, and wastes hours watching anime and science fiction on TV. He claims that he read enough in school to last a lifetime. On the plus side, anyone can write anything about him without him finding out. I should have dished more about him in smart car 7.

If you have followed the smart car series you know that I’ve got an antique Dodge Challenger. It is like the car General Lee in the TV show “Dukes Of Hazzard” from around a hundred years ago, but it doesn’t have a hundred lives, or more accurately a hundred stand-ins like the car on the show, so I take good care of it. I’m no Civil War buff, so I had called it Duke after the show. I later changed it to Deuce. Deuce is for fun when I’m in my secret identity as Rogue. Usually we are very discreet and I use its cloaking software most of the time when we are out and about. When we are alone on the road, we go a little faster, maybe even turn off the headlights for added danger. I’ve also got a few friends that secretly let me use their property for my shenanigans.

My daily driver is Josie. I use the “girly” option for her personality, because I mostly hang out with men at work and in my social life, and I was overdosing on testosterone. In some ways it is great, because she knows the best places to shop and is up on all of the fashions. The downside is that she can say “You’re going out in THAT” in the most shaming tone. Not only is she particular about my appearance, she won’t go out in public unless she is thoroughly detailed, and has picked out her interior and exterior colors to go with whatever I’m wearing.

Because Josie is always female, Duke’s car Carl/a was strongly Carl when they were introduced. I suspect that Carl wants to put moves on her, but I don’t know if he is her type. I’m going to keep my eyes on those two.

Every once in awhile Carl tries to talk to Deuce until he remembers that Deuce can’t talk. He is always embarrassed if someone notices.

Next Chapter


Return To The Story List And Biography For Doug Hawley
Read A Random Story From The Writers' Showcase