Russell Brand's
Revolution in Gambling
by Wallace
Runnymede
Russell Brand
is sick of the lottery being run purely by poncey
squares, greedy plums and corrupt geezers, who
cruelly and arbitrarily force people against
their will to choose random numbers...
In the vain
hope that just on this one single, solitary,
miraculous occasion, their number will come up.
After all, it’s
not like subjecting innocent people to the whims
of mathematics can be justified in a world where
the big numbers domineer over the small.
Still, Russell
doesn’t think there is any difference at all.
"They're
all basically the same, mate!" he laments:
"1, 21,
43, 45, they all may look the same on the outside,
but they all amount to the same thing. There's
nothing to distinguish it, the outcome is always
the same. I think we need to get our heads
together and act, we can maybe find some more
democratic way of spreading the wealth."
Like what?
"Well,
like a tombola, everybody just stick their hands
in and take out whatever they want."
But what if
some people get greedy?
"Listen,
man, you're actually worse than Paxmaaaaaaaan,
you just don't get it. Listen mate, if the system
were ACTUALLY just that LITTLE BIT more
democratic, there wouldn't be any more greed."
Well... you
may be right, Russell.
But I’m
not betting on it.
Hm… not
my best pun for a while.
Just have to
leave the comedy to the experts in future ;(
…
Or does that
cut both ways? ;)
Edited
version of original on: http://www.thespoof.co.uk/spoof-news/uk/123552/russell-brands-democratic-lottery
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