Prime
by Doug Hawley
6
Previous Chapter
Return To First
Chapter
Julie Collins – For
our sixth interview with Dook, our Angwin / Yeti
spokesman, we are shaking it up. Dook is joined
by our first appearance of a female Angwin, Sally.
Before I take questions from the audience, the
ushers will pass around a salad made by the
Angwin.
OK, first question. Please give your name and
where you live. You in the third row, red hat.
Hi, I’m Jane from Manchester England. Sally,
if I’m pronouncing that right, who runs your
people the males or the females?
Sally – You aren’t pronouncing it right,
but I’ve never been able to do French right,
so no problem.
We are fairly equalitarian. Unlike humans, we don’t
have any “male” or “female”
jobs, except that females are the baby makers.
Females may have the edge when it comes to art,
and males for tool making, but the difference is
insignificant. The makeup of our councils is
fairly evenly split.
Julie Collins – Let’s hear from the man
in the seventh row with the purple coat.
Jake Mbenga from Capetown. We’ve heard a lot
lately about politicians and celebrities accused
of rape or assault on women. Does that happen
among the Angwin?
Dook – Much like humans, Angwin men would
like to live a long life, so no.
Sally – It happens, but it is rare for the
reason the Dook gives.
If I may ask a follow up, why is that?
Dook – I’d like to say that we are an
enlightened people. That is true. It is also true
that the Angwin women are usually larger and
stronger than the men. This is true in most
animals, but not among most mammals. We don’t
know why it is true for the Angwin.
Julie Collins – Let’s hear from the man
in the Dude hat wearing an orange jacket.
Doug Hawley from Lake Oswego Oregon USA. In
earlier interviews, Dook mentioned that Angwin
live in caves and under the snow. Is it one or
the other or both?
Sally – Dook and I chuckled about that
earlier. It is both. We apologize for the lack of
clarity, Dook made a mistake in suggesting it was
primarily one or the other.
Julie Collins – The woman with the red hair
and killer dress in row six.
Michelle Duval from Lyon, France. Sally, how were
you chosen to be a part of this interview?
Sally – Same as Dook, short straw. Audience
titters. Well, that was part of it, but the same
as Dook, my English is good and I am
knowledgeable in Angwin culture.
Julie Collins – Petite woman in Hello Kitty
outfit, tenth row.
Miu Furingo Tokyo. I’m studying to be an
environmental engineer and I appreciate the
Angwin’s dedication to sustainability. How
do you handle sewage and refuse?
Sally – I’ll take that because Dook
seems to be sleeping or meditating. We generate
very little waste, because we don’t wear
clothing, except for this interview – the
producer insisted that we cover the naughty bits
– and don’t use packaging. Much like
humans, we don’t eat the yellow snow.
Chuckling from audience. Anyway, as you probably
know, drinking urine causes no problems.
Julie Collins – Let me interrupt a moment.
Did you get “naughty bits” from a Monte
Python routine?
Dook – That’s right. The retrogrades
have been sending up episodes. Are they making
any more episodes?
Julie Collins – Sorry to say that one of the
Pythons is deceased and the group doesn’t
perform together any more. Sorry for the
interruption, what were you about to say?
Sally – As a part of our sustainable
practices, solid waste is used in our hydroponic
gardens where we grow our vegetables.
How do you like your salads? Spitting and
groaning sounds from the audience.
Oh come on, we’ve been eating this stuff for
hundreds of years and no one ever got sick.
Julie Collins – I see that most of the
audience is heading for the doors, so that
concludes our sixth and last exclusive Angwin
interview.
END
Return To The Story List And
Biography For Doug Hawley
Read A Random Story
From The Writers' Showcase
|
