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Montage Sequenced Into Oblivion
by Luke Pohjala


Jerry walks out of the accounting firm he works at looking exhausted. CUT TO: He sits in his car, rolls down the windows, and turns on the radio that plays Tom Petty’s “I Won’t Back Down”. CUT TO: Jerry pulls on to the highway and becomes more agitated when he sees bumper-to-bumper traffic. CUT TO: Aerial shot of Jerry’s car amongst the mass of cars. Cut to: Jerry gets off at his exit. CUT TO Jerry pulls into his driveway. CUT TO Jerry falls down onto his couch to relax

That was strange. I just got home in what felt like less than 30 seconds. I don’t even remember most of the trip home. It kind of felt as if the drive was edited down into a montage sequence from a movie. Not that I’m complaining though. I mean, who wants to sit through rush hour anyways?


Jerry looks nervous as he sits in the waiting room, surrounded by older men. “Your Body Is A Wonderland” by John Mayer is playing. He is called back into the doctor’s office. CUT T: Jerry drops his pants and bends over the table. Standing behind him, his doctor snaps on a latex gloves and inserts his finger into Jerry’s rectum. Both of their faces are grimacing. CUT TO: Jerry pulls his pants up and zips up. He goes in for a handshake to thank the doctor. The doctor holds out his latex glove hand. Jerry pulls back at the last second and they both have a good laugh. CUT TO: Jerry walks down the hallway like something is still up inside his rectum.

There it was again! How great was that. A cringe-worthy moment all boiled down into 30 seconds. It was still as bad as you’d expect a prostate exam to be but at least it didn’t last long.


Jerry and his wife set down a few buckets of paint. They are dressed in old clothes. “Our House” by Crosby Stills Nash & Young is playing. CUT TO: Jerry playfully flings paint at his wife. She smiles and flings more paint back at him. Both giggle as they have a quick paint fight. CUT TO: Jerry up on a latter, painting the second story of the house. A bird lands on his head. He looks afraid and doesn’t move. His wife points and laughs at him. CUT TO: Multiple close ups of painting. CUT TO: Jerry has his arm around his wife as they admire their days worth of painting.

What a wonderful moment. I’m definitely getting used to this whole montage sequence thing. Simple life events are flying right by me. No more sitting through boring tedious tasks is fine by me.


Jerry holds his newborn girl in the hospital. His wife smiles at him from hospital bed. “100 Years” by Five for Fighting plays. CUT TO: Jerry and his wife cheer their daughter as she takes her first steps. CUT T: Jerry is pushing his daughter on a bike and lets go. She looks nervous at first but as she keeps riding she becomes ecstatic. Jerry cheers her on from a distance. CUT TO: Jerry comes out of supermarket holding a box of tampons. He gets in the car and hand the box to his daughter. She grabs the box and slouches down, feeling embarrassed. CUT TO: Jerry kissing his daughter through the window as he leaves her in front of a dorm hall. He drives off and in the rear-view mirror he sees his daughter talking to a guy.

What the hell just happened?! My only daughter grew up right before my eyes. I can literally say it feels like just yesterday I was changing her diapers. I don’t want this anymore. It is a disease. I try to hold on to a moment but it slips right through my fingers. I can’t take anymore ironic songs playing from god knows where. This is no way to live. I need to put myself out of this misery.


Jerry ties a noose around a plumbing pipe. He stands up on the chair, putting his head into the noose. “How to Save a Life” by the Fray plays. He kicks the chair out from underneath. The pipe breaks, Jerry falls and gets knocked unconscious. Feces pour out of the pipe onto Jerry’s body. CUT TO: Jerry wakes up in the hospital. All his relatives are there with sympathetic smiles on their faces. Balloons, flowers and get-well cards are scattered about the room. CUT TO: Jerry, still in the hospital bed, crying by himself. A nurse pokes her head in. Jerry pretends to be asleep.