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Ideas Man Newt Gingrich Finally Solves Fiscal Responsibility Problem
by Wallace Runnymede

A few years ago, Newt Gingrich rebranded himself as the Ideas Man of the Republican Party, but this time he’s outdone even himself with an astonishingly innovative solution.

“You know what, everybody? We all know about the fiscal responsibility problem, and it’s really intractable. Too much dogmatism on both sides, unwillingness to compromise, the whole complexity of the situation. Mutual mud-slinging, entrenched positions, and the politics of disagreement. Well, you know I’m no idealist, I’m a practical thinker, not a bookworm.

“Well, I’ve got an idea that will solve all our problems in one stroke. Why not just abolish taxes? You can’t get much smaller government than that!”

This idea has actually been quite well received by both parties, although there are still some… shall we say, minor disagreements.

Elizabeth Warren suggests abolishing taxes only for anyone not on an obscene wage, while Grover Norquist thinks abolishing corporation tax and all taxes for people earning above a middle-class income (however defined) is the right way to go.

Still, it looks like there’s going to be some progress on this issue after all.

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