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Health Survey
by Doug Hawley

A few years ago I got a letter from my health care provider that I would get a phone survey in a few days. Sure enough, I did.

It started with some questions about physical ability, such as “Can you walk across the room?” The mental ones followed. “Do you think that people are after you?” Since I didn’t want the questioner to join the gang that was pursuing me, I said no.

My favorite question was next “Do you think that you have superpowers?”

A few minutes later after an extended period of rolling around the floor laughing, I said no again, because I didn’t want my secret identity revealed.

The questions and answers are largely true.