by Doug Hawley
It seems like
Id been caged forever, but Im sure
that it was only a few days. I suppose
that I might consider my imprisonment my fault,
but I blame my family. They gave me a
horrible example of how to live and I ended up
just like them. But I must not dwell
on that, I must think only of my present
situation and how to escape my captivity.
feed me a few vegetables, bread, and water a day. I
get nothing but verbal abuse from them You
deserve your treatment and worse. Im
starving; I dont know how long I can
survive. If that werent bad
enough, Im forced to endure torture three
hours a day. There is nowhere to sit,
just a thin mattress on the floor.
eligible for release. Ive lost
the twenty-five pounds that I signed up for. Sure,
I could have stayed at the Hilton for less, but Im
sure I would have dined on steak and had four or
five drinks a night and ended up gaining weight. With
the Guaranteed Weight Loss Plan, I can finally
get into last years pants.
to admit that the exercise machines were first
rate, even though they were killing me.
in Yellow Mama and the defunct Nugget Tales