by Doug Hawley
Duke and Sally
had two children. The older, Leela was
a good girl, but Brad was a very bad boy. Brad
would swear at his parents and kick them in the
shins. They tried all of the child
experts and all the popular techniques with no
success. Shin guards helped. After
neighbor Naders cat died, the parents got
rid of all the poisons in the house and tried to
After all the usual approaches failed, Duke
suggested taking him into the woods and leaving
him there. Sally wasnt against
the idea on moral grounds but thought that they
would be prosecuted. She countered
with one of the popular tough boot camps for
delinquents but found out that he was too young.
Leela had a little control over Brad, but her
approach was threatening to murder him while he
was asleep if he crossed her, which seemed a
little extreme. Because of this
advantage, Duke and Sally decided that Leela
could take Brad for Trick or Treating.
It started off well. Brad did throw
treats he didnt like back at the treaters
and smashed some pumpkins, but that was mild
behavior for him.
Leela panicked when they saw a huge cat the size
of a St. Bernard come slowly out of an alley. The
cat had its eyes closed and a short muzzle and
made quiet mewling sounds. Leela
started to say something, but Brad interrupted
screaming Hate cats and ran over to
kick it in the ribs. The cat mewed
plaintively, followed by what appeared to be the
headlights of a truck shining from the alley and
a sound like a siren. Leela realized
what was happening and yelled run.
A half hour later Leela came home without Brad. Duke
asked what happened.
Leela asked Have you heard a rumor about a
Sally said Yes, what about it.
The rumors are true. After Brad
kicked her kitten, she killed him.
Duke responded after a minute It was bound
to happen, but I thought a neighbor would do it.