by Doug Hawley
Two tough men
walk into a bar separately. Other than
them, the bar is empty. The pretty
tough one says to the ugly tough one Nobody
else here, want to have a drink with me?
to meet you. Im the super secret
British agent Bomb, Jimmy Bomb, but both my
friends and enemies call me Jimbo. Dont
tell anyone else about my secret identity. Youre
the only one to whom Ive revealed my
identity, at least today.
Ivan Dreck, the super villain. Let me
buy us some drinks. Barman, get us
five bottles of Thunderbird Ripple and a quart of
Tang for my new friend and myself.
tell you about my Secret Service exploits such as
the time I boiled Ricardo Vanilli in olive oil
and fed him to his family, but maybe you can tell
me about your worst acts.
invented rap music and the mobile phone.
understand about rap, but whats so bad
been stuck in a room with someone explaining his
proctology report over his mobile?
get it. By the way, I poisoned your
OK, I switched it.
also switched it a number of times.
know, lost track.
wakes up in bed with Bomb spooning him.
hell, I thought that you poisoned the drink. And
arent you supposed to bed the voluptuous,
but evil Pooh Denda.
lied a little; it wasnt poison, it was a
roofie. You must have watched my
movies in a straight theatre. If you
had seen, say, Her Majesty Got Served
in San Francisco, you would have seen that I
swing a number of ways. I played the
queen in that one. In Jaws, Back
To The Beach I played Bruce The Shark.
over for a closer look at Bomb. I
can see why you never made any X rated movies.
Theatres Soon Thunder Balls.
in Dirty Pool (hiatus)