The Short Humour Site









Home : Writers' Showcase : Submission Guidelines : A Man of a Few More Words : Links

Writers' Showcase

Body Temperature
by Jilliana Ranicar-Breese

The last significant man in my life was odd. Well his bedroom habits were especially peculiar. First of all, he had to sleep with not one but three duvets even in summer! He didn’t like sleeping at my flat because I only had one duvet. He had a body temperature problem and was constantly cold at night even with the central heating on in spring and summer. To top it all he was Italian. I thought they were meant to be hot blooded. Not this one! He was a cold intellectual from Verona and in a class of his own. He would always wear his vest in bed . I don’t remember seeing him naked.

Then after kissing me Buona Notte, he would get up and move down the other end of the bed to sleep. Was that madness or Feng Shui? It was just before we split that I finally decided to join him!

My ex-husband also felt the cold in bed. He, too, always had to have a blanket or duvet. Not much erotica in our marital life during the 25 years we were together!

Then Victor, my fascinating man in Havana, which of course is in a tropical climate except I visited Cuba in their winter, always had a vest on and shivered in bed.

Finally my best girlfriend Helga has an acute body temperature problem. She has to sleep with cashmere socks on in the summer, a T-shirt under her nightdress and in Spain, on both occasions when we met in July, slept in her half of the bed with a duvet and blankets while I slept naked with just a single sheet.

As for the latest man in my life – a German Turk living in sexy Berlin, I have yet to find out what his body temperature and if he will be finally naked in bed!

Oh for a naked man!