All Hell Broke
Loose
by Bobby Macleod
Mary sat down
next to her friend in the court waiting area. A
Women’s Institute lady asked her if she
wanted a cup of tea. Mary hesitated for a moment
then answered yes, asked for it with milk and
just a little bit of sugar, then handed over 75
pence.
Mary turned to
her friend and said, “you know I almost
never have a cup of tea when I’m out, it’s
never like a cup at home”.
Her friend
nodded and said “no, it isn’t”.
Mary continued,
“now, you know, I don’t like sweet
things, so I only take just a smidgen of sugar in
my tea, to take away the bitterness”.
Her friend
nodded and said, “yes, yes”.
“Well”,
Mary said, “you ask that in a cafe or while
visiting, and they say to themselves a smidgen is
a quarter of a teaspoon, but that’s far too
much for me. A quarter teaspoon and the cup is
ruined.”
“Oh I
know”, her friend said.
Mary said,
“a smidgen of sugar should be just the tip
of the teaspoon, barely noticeable to the eye,
but enough to mask the bitterness of the tea
cause you know how folk tend to stew it”.
Her friend closed her eyes and nodded.
The Woman’s
Institute lady came back and handed Mary her cup
of tea. Mary took a sip and all hell broke loose.
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