The Ulysses S.
by Con Chapman
Reality TV star JWoww of MTVs
Jersey Shore named Ulysses S. Grant #1
on her list P.I.L.F.S (Presidents Id
Like to Fuck).
@usgrant Hey general just
want to let u no UR #1 on my list of dead prezs 2
fuck. Saw u on a $50 bill and heard you like to
party hard! Yers til Atlanta burns.
@jwoww I know only two
tunes; one of them is Yankee Doodle, the other
@usgrant Okay I can work
wid dat. We can go someplace without a dj. I
heard U R an alcoholic!
@jwoww Hold fast to the
Bible. To the influence of this Book we are
indebted for all the progress made in true
@usgrant Heavy stuff! But I
heard when they told Lincoln u drank 2 much he
said to send the other generals a case of the
stuff U use!
@jwoww Everyone has his
@usgrant Tru dat! I wont go
into any club that wont pay me a $35,000
appearance feeits bad luck!
@jwoww Let us have peace
@usgrant I didnt even
no we were fighting!
@jwoww I think I am a verb
instead of a personal pronoun.
@usgrant I M with U on that
one. I like to keep busy and not spend all day
sitting around with Tan Lift Laundry Pronoun
@jwoww My heart kept
getting higher and higher until it felt to me as
though it was in my throat
@usgrant Wowthat is
so sweet. I bet that is how Lindsey Lohan feels
when she has dry heaves LOL!
@jwoww I am not aware of
ever having used a profane expletive in my life.
@usgrant F***in A!
All U.S. Grant quotes guaranteed verbatim.