The Short Humour Site

Home : Writers' Showcase : Submission Guidelines : A Man of a Few More Words : Links

Writers' Showcase

The Parade
by Sylvester Lewis

It was going to be a glorious day for the parade. The sun was shining. The slight breeze was crisp and fresh. And, he was early enough to get one of the best viewing points – the wall. He managed to pull himself to the top and roll over into a sitting position. Clapping his hands and swinging his legs, he could hardly contain himself.

“You'd better be careful, that's a mighty big drop” his friend called out. “I'm going down front,” he added, elbowing his way through the crowd.

“Don't worry about me. I'll be okay up here” he answered . “They're about to start. Oh, my. Oh, my. Look! Look!” he shouted as he craned his short little no-neck to get a better view. He could see the Drum Major in his bright red uniform with the shiny brass buttons as he pumped his baton, setting the tempo. “.....five, six, seven, eight....”. The sudden blare of the trumpets scared the wits out of a flock of foraging pigeons sending the terrified birds knocking into each other as they frantically flew away, helter-skelter, searching for safety. The oom-pah-pahs of the tubas shook the quivering leaves from the trees. And, the clip clip clippety clop of the horses hooves seemed to echo the pulsing in his temples.

The sight of the riders, with uniforms that matched the Major's, and their high feathered hats bobbing up and down in time with the hoofbeats, excited him even more. “Isn't this terrific? Just so great. No one will ever forget this day,” he thought.

“Here they come! Here they come,” he shouted, twisting and turning to get a better view. They were about to pass in front of him. He scrambled to stand up on the wall. “Beautiful! Beautiful!” he called out to no one in particular and frantically began waving his arms. Suddenly, his heel caught the front edge of the wall and, like Newton's apple, he crashed to earth. His friend, hearing the commotion behind him, turned and pushed his way through the horrified crowd. He almost fainted at the sight. His knees started to buckle. “Oh, my gosh! Yuucccchhh!” He turned and started to run to the house as fast as he could.

She was standing on the porch wiping her hands on her apron. Just as he reached her he cried out “Mrs. Dumpty! Come quick. Humpty had an accident!”.

(Footnote: Alas, all the King's horses and all the King's men couldn't put Humpty together again.)