"The Dating
Game" for Three Fictional Heroes
by Susan Joy
Clark
Like a lot of
other women who read, I am a fan of Jane Austen's
1813 Pride and Prejudice. I have learned
that not all fans of the book are just like me. I
see the romantic lead, Mr. Darcy, as the ideal
man for Elizabeth Bennett, not as the ideal man
for myself, but to some fans, Mr. Darcy is their
imaginary boyfriend. They wear pins that declare
their affection, “I love Mr. Darcy” and
drink Earl Grey tea out of their “Mrs.
Darcy” mugs.
But if some
Austen fans have lost touch with reality, what
about the millions of female readers who are
infatuated with a handsome vampire or a roguish
slave master? Due to the popularity of two
current book series on "The New York Times"
Bestseller List, Mr. Darcy has some competition
from gentlemen who couldn't be more unlike him,
Edward Cullen of the Twilight series and
Christian Grey of Fifty Shades of Grey.
What if these
three disparate gentlemen were all anonymous
contestants on the now defunct TV show, The
Dating Game? Let’s examine the
competition, shall we? Contestant #1 –
Fitzwilliam Darcy, a man who, at first, appears
to be aloof and arrogant but turns out to be
caring, upright and decent. Contestant #2 –
Edward Cullen, a vampire. Contestant #3 –
Christian Grey, a man with a twisted idea of
sexuality and women.
Jane (our
unsuspecting female interviewer) must choose a
lucky winner based on one question each.
Jane: Contestant
# 1 -- What are you looking for in a woman?
Mr.
Darcy: A woman who is truly accomplished
must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing,
drawing, dancing and all the modern languages to
start. She must have a certain something in her
air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice,
her address and expressions. Furthermore, she
must improve her mind through extensive reading.
Jane:
Wow! You don’t have high standards at all.
Contestant #2 – If we went on a date, how
would you show that you care for me?
Edward
Cullen: I think you’re very
beautiful.
Jane:
Why, thank you! How sweet.
Edward
Cullen: And if you and I went on a date,
I would try very hard not to bite your neck,
because I like you that much.
Jane:
Um…thank you? Contestant #3 – What is
your idea of the ideal date?
Christian
Grey: Well, you and I can have a lot of
fun with my tie.
Jane:
Your tie… Your tie, really? You mean you
like fashion…and, and shopping? I have just
the thing! First, we will go to the men’s
department in Macy’s, and I’ll help you
pick out your entire outfit. Then, we’ll
head to the women’s department, and you can
sit and watch while I try on 27 dresses….
Christian
Grey: (under his breath) Errgg. #$%@ (to
be heard) That is not exactly what I meant.
Jane:
Um…okay. Let’s see. Contestant #2 seems
gentlemanly in a sense and yet… dangerous.
Contestant #3 seems mysterious and…
questionable. Contestant #1 seems tasteful and
yet completely unattainable. But, I’ll take
him! Contestant #1!
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