by M. V.
Chickens lay, People lie.
And that's why people are more wicked than
If you could see yourself
as others see you
youd be a
Im getting to that
age where one of the most important
considerations has to be, What sort of a
skeleton am I going to leave behind for posterity?
Its true that my frame has become calcified
around the neck, lumbar, and knees; but still, I
havent broken a hip or major bone. Ive
had enough dental work that my grin would startle,
but not really scare. And Ive spent so long
in academia that I could probably continue on in
an anatomy class as a teaching display, earning
what little money I could for my future
Picnic at Hanging Rock,
A Cry in the Dark, Strangerland. The
Australians sure love them some movies about
Of course I liked the Go-Gos,
but the Bangles could blow them off the stage.
99 bottles of
nonalcoholic beverages on the wall, 99 bottles of
nonalcoholic beverages. Just toning it down
for a road trip with my kid.
Murder at the
I think one of the
actors did it, said the Producer.
No, Im pretty sure that the Director
did it, said the Wardrobe Manager.
Youre right! agreed Inspector
Question: Why did Inspector Silihew
agree with the Wardrobe Manager?
Answer: Because the costumer is always
I Bid Thee Good
Ive caught the
clap, she confessed. And also, I have
Just my luck! I lamented. Gonorrhea
with the wind!
Cribbage is such a mild-mannered
card game that I feel it would be improved by
taunting. Such as:
Ill fifteen-four and fifteen-deep six
You need to use Mapquest to find out what
street youre on;
Youll be crying like a baby when you
see my crib.
New state slogan. Florida:
Online promo for English
teacher: I can help you make language your
Are you really sure
no one can swim away from Alcatraz?
Yes, thats my inescapable conclusion.
Coffee: wakie-uppy juice.
Whiskey: puttie-sleepy juice.
Its just plain wrong
to be against Adam and Steve, or Madam and Eve.
Day: She swept, leant, crept, knelt, felt, wept,
As I age, I find myself
more and more frequently bowing to pee-er
Often I have to get up in the middle of the night
to succumb to pee-er pressure.
Im a little dyslexic.
Also, I like to eat in front of the TV. So every
time the ad for Home Fires comes on,
I suddenly become hungry for home fries.
Haiku: After the rainstorm,/Drops
fall softly fall from branches./ I call it: tree
History is always changing.
Eating too many hot dogs
can give you mustard gas.
Sometimes life is like a K-Pop
video I just dont feel happy enough to