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Table Man
by Melodie Corrigall

Gillian wasn’t a practicing Christian but she thought Jesus, had things been different, would have made a loving husband. Always a good sign when a man is close to his mom and Jesus’ mother wasn’t the only Mary who thought he was great. So when she saw the personal ad, Gillian was captivated.

“I can’t walk on water,” it read, “But I’m up to the mark in other ways. My calling starts with a C.” Table Man

Obviously it was from a carpenter who wasn’t pretending to be Jesus but did aspire along the God is Love line: a sort of latter day hippie. Table Man obviously specialized in tables but what kind: modern or rustic? It set Gillian to wondering what type of furniture Jesus had built.

Gillian immediately responded to the ad and as quick as fast sealing glue, she and Table Man, happily from the same town, had set up a meeting at a local café. They arrived within minutes of each other and settled at a corner table. After a discussion about bus schedules, he blurted, “I bet you’re an Au woman not an Ag woman. ”

Astonished by his opener Gillian replied with her planned witticism, “Here you are Table Man at a table.”

“Speaking of tables,” he replied, “my favorite is the Periodic. Is it yours?”

Taken aback by the turn of events, Gillian grasped for a response. Risking a rift so early in the relationship she opted for honesty, “No, I prefer constants—like the Times Table.”