Selfie Bear
by Phil Temples
Doug Lindherst and his
friends Shawn O’Donnell, Faith Barneau,
Jafari Abibio, and Jinmin Hsin paused at a picnic
table along the trail to break for lunch. They
were enjoying a weekend hike through Chipinque
Ecological Park in Mexico’s Nuevo León
State. The twenty-somethings had driven down from
San Antonio for the annual weekend retreat. It
was an activity they’d enjoyed doing
together every year since graduating from the
University of Houston. The retreat was a chance
for them to renew old acquaintances; also, to get
wasted and engage in a little roughhousing and
other shenanigans.
The group shed their
backpacks. Faith was unpacking some sandwiches
and beer when Shawn called out, “Hey! Look
at that!”
A small black bear
approached them on the trail.
“Whoa! Let’s get
the hell out of—”
“No, wait!”
interrupted Doug. “It’s okay. It’s
the ‘Selfie Bear.’”
“What?”
“You know? The Selfie
Bear. The one that poses for photos with tourists.
I read about him on Facebook. Hey, Jafari—quick!
Break out your iPhone.”
The young man reached into
his pack and pulled out his smartphone and turned
on his video camera. He held it up for the
bear to see. Selfie Bear lumbered over to within
a few feet of the group. Then the Ursus
americanus stood up on his hind legs and eyed the
young people. It licked its chops.
“M-m-m-maybe it’s
hungry, too,” said Faith. She seemed unsure
of the bear’s motives. “Should we offer
it a sandwich?”
“Yeah, okay. But first,
let’s get a selfie with it.”
The group members pulled
out their phones, put their cameras in selfie
mode, then they turned their backs to the bear.
“Cheese!” Yelled
out Jinmin.
Selfie Bear obliged. It
appeared to grin at the group. They snapped a
round of photos.
“Okay, let’s pose
with our arms around it now.”
“I wanna feed it first,”
said Faith. She picked up a vegemite
sandwich and handed it to Selfie Bear. Selfie
Bear obliged. He gobbled down the sandwich in two
bites.
The five gathered around
Selfie and posed for another round of photos—this
time reaching out with their hands to touch the
bear. But Selfie’s demeanor abruptly changed
after tasting the vegemite. He became agitated.
Selfie shook his head and growled. Before Shawn,
Jinmin, Faith, Jafari, and Doug had a chance to
react, Selfie Bear struck violently at them,
ripping their throats with his outstretched claws.
They were cut down where they stood. As Selfie
Bear leisurely enjoyed their meals, Jafari’s
video camera lay on the ground capturing the
carnage.
Selfie Bear was not just
any average black bear—he had a discerning
palate.
|
