talking wubbish, shouted Marl, from his
position of intellectual eminence. Although but
one of a line of similar soap boxes, Marls
box was a good four inches taller. This put his
head around six inches lower than his tallest
Whether due to
a deficit in the legs department or some
congenital fault of his head or box, would be a
a fine one to be criticising the educational
system, mate. You cant even spell
shouted his detractor, who, fortunately enough
for Marl was amongst a crowd of far less
interested members. The mans dog in fact.
might you have been drawn to that widdiculous
conclusion? yelled Marl at the top of his
voice; the top of his voice, of course, still
being six inches lower than anybody elses.
mate screamed the heckler, you
introduced yourself as Marl Karx!
of it, you fool? bellowed Marl.
in big red letters on your box, Karl
Marx. So, by a process of elimination, you
a) Cant spell your own name; or,
b) Youve nicked somebody elses box.
A small voice
ahem-d from the end of the line.
shrilled Marl through an apoplectic fit.
belted out the almost solo audience.
said the mans dog, getting into the mood of
my box, actually, said the small voice.
name is? shouted the man with his dog.
minute said the bellicose Marl Karx,
it says Marl Karx on this box.
doesnt said the audience.
doesnt say Bawington
Fothewingay blistered Marl.
would you know? You cant spell yelled
out the man.
is not big enough to fit Bawington
Fothewingay on it yelled Karx.
if you look at the back..? came an
apologetic suggestion. Marl Karx craned his neck.
wather a long word on the back noted Karx.
theres no point you looking at it then, is
there? observed the audience.
it says Sunnyways Soap. This
subdued comment met a derisive broadside.
wubbish shouted Karx.
telling me that Ive been standing here all
afternoon, supposedly broadening my mind, and
none of you can read. I bet you cant even
doesnt matter for me joined in a dog-collar.
youve got a book said the bewildered
I dont read it. Its in Latin or
arent you supposed to know what its
else does. I can order a pizza during a service
and nobody knows the difference. He smiled
benevolently. Pepperoneus maximus extrem
anchovus. Thats the important bit. The rest
I make up.
people are hoping for spiritual fulfilment from
your pizza takeaway?
works, dont knock it.
The day was
drawing to its world-weary close and soap boxes
were sulking into oblivion.
Marl Karx girded up his loins and prepared to go
home for tea.
surely not going to leave it at that. The
man and his dog hadnt moved.
found out whose box it was, what more do you want?
box was it, then? asked the man, intrigued.
belonged to this way up.