On The Road With
by Bill Naylor
travelling around Australia. Money was tight, so
I decided to take a slow train. The kind of slow,
where you can get out of the train, walk
backwards on your knees, and still overtake the
train. Being informed luggage travelled free on
the train. I decided to leave mine, obtain a
refund on my ticket, and thumb a lift on the
adjacent highway. Id hardly started
hitching when a truck stopped. The passenger door
swung open, and a bald headed little guy leaned
out of the cab.
are faster than boots buddy.
going to Sydney?
the truck I realised our driver was out of touch
with reality. In fact it was doubtful the two had
ever got acquainted.
catch your name.
the names Bruce Springsteen.
I smiled a wry
your music. I suppose people comment on your name
Bruce Springsteen, comes with the territory. Want
me a jar of assorted coloured tablets, and kept
tossing these back in his throat at regular
a health freak. Cant function without them.
the way Bruce kept twitching and rolling his eyes,
he couldnt function properly with them
either. He was also under the illusion hed
picked up two people.
do you two want to go to Melbourne?
dont want to go to Melbourne. Im
going to Sydney!
keep changing the destination guys, I have a
schedule; Sydney right?
Sydney it is. The customer is always right.
Im always wrong. Oh look its raining;
I guess thats my fault too. Bad weather,
just blame old Bruce. Whoa! did you see that.
Bruce suddenly swerved cursing loudly. What
the hell was that guy doing out here on a
I felt I
needed to keep talking, as the conversation Bruce
was having with himself was becoming increasingly
soon have you two in Melbourne.
still cant make up your mind. But
youre going to Sydney whether you like it
or not. See I trust people, but people dont
trust me. The guy in the diner didnt trust
guy was that Bruce?
who this truck belongs to.
pulled off the road.
sea sick. Keep seeing waves. Well have to
take your car
havent got a car, your giving me a lift
about your pal?
cars drew up in front of the truck.
just as Bruce started to sing Born in the
USA they ordered us on our knees. After
taking a statement, the police drove me to a bus
station. When I arrived at the depot in Sydney to
collect my luggage, a surprise awaited me:
accompanied baggage travelled free on the train,
unaccompanied luggage was charged full passenger
fare. Another downside to being on the road with