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Memorable Characters
by M. V. Montgomery

Let’s be characters today—memorable characters, she said.

You are ohso fantastic! I exclaimed. I want to be Disgruntled Lottery Man. I’ll wait till there’s a long line of people at the Kangaroo and then buy a ticket and scratch it off as though my life depended on it.

That’s a cliché, she said. To sell it, you are going to have to tone it down.

Oh, I’d totally be an indie actor and act all whatever. Then after I get to the last number, it hits me. I shake my head, back away from the counter, and start a rant.

What if there are kids?

It’d be a good object lesson, wouldn’t it? The perils of gambling. The ranting and lamenting will insure the episode is impressed on them forever. Maybe I’ll catch the after-church crowd on a Sunday so moms and dads can hush and point.

Won’t they recognize you the next time at the store?

We’ll go to a different place, then. A big city gas station.

Probably lots of Disgruntled Lottery Men there.

So I’ll act something else. What will you be?

I will be Peaceably Deranged Lady and stand out front of the SuperTarget with a wand and wave open the automatic doors for all the people.

They’ll kick you out.

Not for a while. Have you ever seen security there?

Hah.  It’s hard enough to find customer service. Ooh, ooh, can you be arrested for impersonating a Target employee? 

It’s not like a cop.

Cause, what if I came up to you in my red shirt and nameplate and tried to talk you down? Asked you to explain yourself and gave you a chance to monologue?

I would love that.