FlapJack
by Joseph Scholes
Queuing, for
what seems like an eternity, inside a train
station café, I am contemplating whether or not
to get a tasty flapjack to go with the cappuccino
I have just ordered. Dare I treat myself - do I
deserve it?
I am suddenly
overcome with argument and counter argument.
After all, I have been waiting in this queue for
a while and the service has been decidedly poor
– it would certainly show them if I
disrupted their flow and asked for a flapjack as
well, PAYBACK!
Possibly not
the most effective revenge tactic but I can sense
that I am just searching for any means of
justification. The golden, oatey glow seems to be
staring me out at this point, mocking me. It
doesn’t think that I am man enough to make
an executive treat based decision – well
you’re wrong flapjack, so wrong!
I often like
to treat myself when travelling; I will be sat in
that carriage watching a film on my laptop for
upward of 2 hours – I surely deserve some
recompense. NO! Joe, you clown! The train is
doing all of the work; you’re just sitting
there – If anyone deserves a flapjack it is
the train.
Looking out of
the window up at the sky I search for a sign
– perhaps a cake shaped fluffy mound of
cloud or maybe even just an outline of a
‘thumbs up’ – Anything to let me
know I was doing the right thing. If there was
ever an issue that needed to be settled by
supernatural intervention it is this one.
I then begin
to realise that this decision has taken up longer
consideration time than that of which University
I attended, or even of which parent I love the
most – But this is a delicate situation.
In this
culture of ‘something for nothing’
procuring a delicious cakey treat would be an
insult unless it was well earned. Sure, I work
hard but so does everybody else. If we all had my
cavalier attitude to snacking then the calorie
intake would be through the roof – That may
suit the USA but Britain says ‘no
thanks’.
Martin Luther
King, Winston Churchill, how did they treat
themselves after a hard days work? I surely
don’t want to overstep the boundaries. If I
am treating myself more for travelling than they
did for making the world a better place then I
will feel downright silly.
I am at odds
with myself over this one. It’s a stalemate.
How do I make a decision?
Oh but look!
This flapjack has raisins in – That is one
of my five a day, I would be a fool not to get it.
Case Closed!
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